Had it not been for you
I would be alive
I wouldn’t feel like I was nothing,
A nobody, a failure.
Had it not been for you
Would I have realized anything,
Anything positive, eye-catching,
Better for me?
Would I have been in a restless battle
With myself?
Wanting your attention, needing your presence.
Would I refer to myself
As a hopeless romantic?
Had it not been for you,
You the one person, the one girl
That meant so much to me.
The one girl, I didn't want to piss off.
The girl whose opinion mattered most
The girl whose personality was so uplifting
Yet degrading at the same time to me.
I won’t…no
I can’t forget you,
I can’t pull you from my head,
I’ve tried really, I have.
You, the one person, I should forget about
And I can’t.
Why?
How?
Is this wrong?
Am I wrong?
What’s wrong with me?
Why couldn’t you give me a chance,
Just once chance is all,
All I ask for.
No you couldn’t
Could you?
When I saw you with that poor excuse for a guy,
The both of you walking down the hall
It disgusted me.
I would treat you like gold,
Be everything you could have ever wanted.
But no…
Am I not good enough?
Is that it?
Did I try too hard?
Was I too nice?
Not myself?
For Christ’s sake you were with him
Even if it was for a short while.
You were still with him
He’s like my family and all
But I can’t
I can’t help but to be jealous,
To envy him.
The guy who just doesn’t want to grow up.
The guys who screws up so much
And yet doesn’t try hard enough.
I’ll leave you now
Hopefully you realize in time
How good I was to you.
Can I leave?
Maybe.
Angry now
Over something so childish
Refusing to speak to me
It’s easier this way.
Am I an a** for saying that?
To have the person you care for so much,
Who I would do anything for,
Hate you
Makes it easier to move on?
Part of me
Wants to talk to you,
To be there for you
Whenever you need me
To be your ’knight-in-shining-armor’
To pay you back for saving me.
Then there is the other half
The half that wants to show you
What you missed.
To be the perfect
If not a ’hell-of-a-boyfriend’.
That part of me wants to reach,
Reach out and find someone
Someone who would take me,
For who I am;
Rather than for who I am not.
Someone who would like how I treat them
A person, a girl is all…
Had it not been for you,
I wouldn’t be
Who I am
Today.
I would be alive
I wouldn’t feel like I was nothing,
A nobody, a failure.
Had it not been for you
Would I have realized anything,
Anything positive, eye-catching,
Better for me?
Would I have been in a restless battle
With myself?
Wanting your attention, needing your presence.
Would I refer to myself
As a hopeless romantic?
Had it not been for you,
You the one person, the one girl
That meant so much to me.
The one girl, I didn't want to piss off.
The girl whose opinion mattered most
The girl whose personality was so uplifting
Yet degrading at the same time to me.
I won’t…no
I can’t forget you,
I can’t pull you from my head,
I’ve tried really, I have.
You, the one person, I should forget about
And I can’t.
Why?
How?
Is this wrong?
Am I wrong?
What’s wrong with me?
Why couldn’t you give me a chance,
Just once chance is all,
All I ask for.
No you couldn’t
Could you?
When I saw you with that poor excuse for a guy,
The both of you walking down the hall
It disgusted me.
I would treat you like gold,
Be everything you could have ever wanted.
But no…
Am I not good enough?
Is that it?
Did I try too hard?
Was I too nice?
Not myself?
For Christ’s sake you were with him
Even if it was for a short while.
You were still with him
He’s like my family and all
But I can’t
I can’t help but to be jealous,
To envy him.
The guy who just doesn’t want to grow up.
The guys who screws up so much
And yet doesn’t try hard enough.
I’ll leave you now
Hopefully you realize in time
How good I was to you.
Can I leave?
Maybe.
Angry now
Over something so childish
Refusing to speak to me
It’s easier this way.
Am I an a** for saying that?
To have the person you care for so much,
Who I would do anything for,
Hate you
Makes it easier to move on?
Part of me
Wants to talk to you,
To be there for you
Whenever you need me
To be your ’knight-in-shining-armor’
To pay you back for saving me.
Then there is the other half
The half that wants to show you
What you missed.
To be the perfect
If not a ’hell-of-a-boyfriend’.
That part of me wants to reach,
Reach out and find someone
Someone who would take me,
For who I am;
Rather than for who I am not.
Someone who would like how I treat them
A person, a girl is all…
Had it not been for you,
I wouldn’t be
Who I am
Today.
