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Encounters of the Heart
A place for my work to reside.
Had It Not Been For You
Had it not been for you
I would be alive
I wouldn’t feel like I was nothing,
A nobody, a failure.

Had it not been for you
Would I have realized anything,
Anything positive, eye-catching,
Better for me?

Would I have been in a restless battle
With myself?
Wanting your attention, needing your presence.
Would I refer to myself
As a hopeless romantic?

Had it not been for you,
You the one person, the one girl
That meant so much to me.
The one girl, I didn't want to piss off.
The girl whose opinion mattered most
The girl whose personality was so uplifting
Yet degrading at the same time to me.

I won’t…no
I can’t forget you,
I can’t pull you from my head,
I’ve tried really, I have.
You, the one person, I should forget about
And I can’t.

Why?
How?
Is this wrong?
Am I wrong?

What’s wrong with me?
Why couldn’t you give me a chance,
Just once chance is all,
All I ask for.

No you couldn’t
Could you?
When I saw you with that poor excuse for a guy,
The both of you walking down the hall
It disgusted me.

I would treat you like gold,
Be everything you could have ever wanted.
But no…

Am I not good enough?
Is that it?
Did I try too hard?
Was I too nice?
Not myself?

For Christ’s sake you were with him
Even if it was for a short while.
You were still with him
He’s like my family and all

But I can’t
I can’t help but to be jealous,
To envy him.
The guy who just doesn’t want to grow up.
The guys who screws up so much
And yet doesn’t try hard enough.

I’ll leave you now
Hopefully you realize in time
How good I was to you.
Can I leave?
Maybe.

Angry now
Over something so childish
Refusing to speak to me
It’s easier this way.

Am I an a** for saying that?
To have the person you care for so much,
Who I would do anything for,
Hate you
Makes it easier to move on?

Part of me
Wants to talk to you,
To be there for you
Whenever you need me
To be your ’knight-in-shining-armor’
To pay you back for saving me.

Then there is the other half
The half that wants to show you
What you missed.
To be the perfect
If not a ’hell-of-a-boyfriend’.

That part of me wants to reach,
Reach out and find someone
Someone who would take me,
For who I am;
Rather than for who I am not.
Someone who would like how I treat them
A person, a girl is all…

Had it not been for you,
I wouldn’t be
Who I am
Today.





Self Indulgence
Bound in chains
Within his feeble cage
Bars of reality surrounding me.
Inside myself, a battle
Like a final deathmatch,
Black and White
Love and Sorrow
Ceasing, merging.
The brisk cold,
The stitches
'love' breeds sorrow
With sorrow comes pain.
Pain is 'love'
The coming dark
Like a raven,
A raven of death
My heart ripped into
By a knife
Torn out with an arm
An arm with a cold, dark personality
So everything else doesn't matter
Not anymore.
Here in this world,
Almost mindless.





Dying Tonight
Fights alone,
Within his head.
No more doubts,
Nobody can help.
All this pain,
Seems like it'll never end.

Building up within him,
The frustration and pain.
As people call his name,
He just wants to die.

Sorrow,
The only thing he knows.
Why?
Can't he just be left alone?
Does he have to put up with pain?

Fights alone,
Forever more,
This pain will never end.
He fights for his friends.

Please,
Don't fall for him tonight.

Gone today,
To a better place.

Slowly walk away
Please leave him alone tonight,
Can't stand this pain anymore.





Greed and Lust
Bodies burning with lust.
Lips tingling with passion.
Hands hot with so much temptation.

His heart being worn on his sleeve,
Her heart buried beneath her greed.

Temptations making this much harder.
Everyone is against them,
Similarities may break them.
Differences will shake them.

Nothing else seems to matter sexually.
She just wants him sexually,
Nothing else she wanted from him.





Here We Go
I have seen the world,
Here we go, I see the light today.
Never thought that I would get by,
Here we go, it all begins today.

Never wanted to be ignored,
I just wanted to be.
Won’t you just stay please?
I just want you here with me!

Sometimes it just hurts too much,
Here we go, just sit and stay with me.
Never wanted to be,
Here we go, alone again today.

I just wanted to be,
Just to be believed in.
Never wanted you to leave,
I just want you here with me!


I have done what I can!
Somebody please help me,
I never wanted to believe,
That I was alone in this world!

To make them believe me,
I had to die for them.





Devil's Cry
My heart is dead,
Closed with ice.
The real pain just waits to die,
It never leaves
Or even rests.

I want to rip a hole in my chest!
My hatred comes from deep within,
A new breed comes from my skin,
A hate that comes from the devil’s cry!

My dear,
We’ve gone so far…
And yet have traveled so little,
Our enemies have won,
We gave up before it could begin.

We shall see,
What the future brings.
I’ll never flee,
Here and forever.

Through this pain,
I’ll last for an eternity,
My hate keeps me going on,
Given from a devil’s cry!
Never will I surrender,
To pain and torture.
I will fight,
For tomorrow.
For my heart is dead.





Time
The leaves fall,
Never to be the same.
The cities burn with rage,
Its people so afraid.

The world is changing,
The time is dark.
When people start explaining,
Is when the light will spark.

Terrified by the end,
Not knowing what is near.
People fear,
What they cannot comprehend.

The time is different,
With every decision, we make.





Love's Insider
I spend every night,
Swallowing defeat.
I think all the time,
About you and me.

You're more than a girl.
You're more than a phase.
More than a pretty face,
out in the rain.
Love's not easy, believe me.

Do you have the time,
To think about me?
Do you have to lie,
About your feelings for me?

It may be absurd,
I want to believe.
That just maybe
we were meant to be.

I lay here so hurt,
I can not believe.
That you have stepped,
all over me.
Love's not easy, believe me.

My heart is so far away from me!
It's in your arms.
We can both believe tonight,
We're not crazy.
Just in love.

I spend every night,
Swallowing defeat.
We weren't meant to cry,
For each other in our dreams.

You're more than a girl,
I want to believe.
You're more than just a phase to me.

I'm more than some boy,
You have to believe.
That I am not just here,
To take a leap.

Take a leap!
Believe me.
Take a look,
Inside of me!

I'm more than some boy.
I'm more than a phase.
Why do you just refuse to see.
Love's not easy, just trust me.





Fear
His fears do not call,
They wrap around him.
His mind is gone,
His heart is not whole.

His room too dark,
For him to see.
His fears too close,
For him to breathe.

He’s cracking,
Under his own mind.
Will they cry,
If he dies today.

He’s trying to fight.
His pain, exceeds his help.
Suicide,
Seems like the answer.

He doesn’t want to hurt his friends,
His family would cry,
His friends could fry.
Nothing left to live for.

His fears are strong,
Too strong for him.
His body hurts,
From fighting for so long.

Can he just die?
Will they miss him,
Can he just let go.
Could they?





iPoetic
Community Member
iPoetic
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