Welcome back my friends for this, our second installment. Now I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy this Idea and I guess it all came about because of my love for movies. Now after the first initial reviews I figured I was done. But for some strange reason I found that this was actually fun.
Now I am not a rogue scholar and I don't have a Doctorate in acting or performing arts, or anything like that. But what I do have is a Love for the Motion Picture. I have seen them all, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I know what it takes to be a blockbuster or a bomb. But these are just my opinions, so feel free to counter point of the rulings I make.
Now after that is said and done, I find myself sitting here in my private theater again with a bucket of stale popcorn, a half empty soda and rock hard candy. I have had the privilege of watching not just one movie, but three recently that I would like to share my Opinion on with you. Now these movies are in no way new, but that doesn't mean I will always be reviewing rentals. Keep your eyes out for some up-coming reviews of newer movies like New Moon, Couples Retreat, and more.
With a familiar theme song and an even more familiar cast, the Pink Panther Diamond has once again been stolen in "The Pink Panther 2."
Steve Martin reprises his role as Inspector Clouseau as he tries to figure out in his own way, who took the precious Iconic French Gem.
He is joined by Jean Reno, John Cleese, Andy Garcia, and Alfred Molina just to name a few.
In this Renamed, remake of a sequel the laughs are abound. If not always there. Cleese is seen very little in the role of "Chief Inspector Dreyfus" and his comedy genius is wasted if not predictable. I would have liked to see more of this veteran comedy actor.
Not to take anything away from Steve Martin, he is a veteran in this field as well, but in this second installment of the newest rendition of the Pink Panther Franchise I found his acting sedated. Clouseau was nowhere near as bumbling and unhinged as in the first. The slap stick physical humor was lacking and the stories end was too predictable.
Unlike the climax of the first movie where the reveal was something to make you think back as to what you missed, the climax of Pink Panther 2 just didn't hold water. This movie seemed to be less about the Pink Panther Diamond and more about Clouseau finding love with his assistant Nicole. A slap stick comedy that has been boiled, strained, filtered, and whittled down to a lame attempt as a Romantic comedy.
Garcia and Molina do what they can to add a bit of excitement but it is still over-shadowed by the lame plot along with disjointed and sometimes painfully long physical comedy shtick scenes.
I would have loved to see some more about the actual crime, and more of the actual detective work that was had in the first movie. This was a half-hearted attempt at a sequel and failed on many levels.
The Pink Panther 2 gets 2 Pink Diamonds out of 5.
If you believe in the unbelievable than this next movie is still not for you. Crank 2: High Voltage is a menagerie of action, sex, nudity, and stupidity. Jason Statham is not on my list of top 20 list of best actors, he isn't even on my top 50 list and his list of Movie flops knows no bounds. Yet he reprises his role of Chev Chelios, who fell from an unbelievable height onto a CAR at the end of the first movie, who now finds himself with out a heart.
Let's get real about this movie. It was NOT made to do anything but get action loving, blood and gore fans what they want. Chelios is scraped from the pavement immediately after his fall to have his heart removed and placed into another human being. His genitals were next to be removed and that is when Chelios decides he has had enough. After his heart removal he has a fake one put in that is only meant to keep him alive long enough for the second surgery.
Amy Smart comes back as "Eve" Chelios' girl. That is about all I can say for that. Her appearance is so small that it hardly is worth a mention.
Like in the first movie, Chelios must do insane things to keep his fake heart from stopping. At one point he is told that "friction" will keep the battery for his false heart working. So he rubs up against an old lady and a few strangers. Smart finds him and then gives him a lap dance. The lap dance soon turns into a full on sex scene.
Now let me make this clear, Crank 2: High Voltage is an "R" rated movie, the highest rating we can give to a theater movie that is acceptable to the public. R! Yet this scene was so raunchy that I felt like I was watching a soft-core porn flick. Portions of this scene had to actually be BLURRED OUT. On top of this, the scene takes place on the middle of a horse race track!
The over the top action, unbelievable plot, and over use of the "F" bomb makes me think; WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING MAKING THIS MOVIE!!!!
The movie only gets worse from there. I won't get into more of it because I feel drained just from this much.
I had originally wanted to say this was better than "Observe and Report" but on second thought I would say there is more redeeming value in that suck fest than this one.
Crank 2: High Voltage gets 1 fake heart out of 5.
That is all I can do for now my friends. My time is up. I hope you have enjoyed our time together today, because it is getting harder and harder to enjoy the finer things in life. Well, until next time. Ta-ta!
Colespire666 Community Member 
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