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Lexis_Nexis' Fanfiction Archive
I had a new idear! I'm gonna post fanfiction here! If it is green it is my fanfiction and if it is red it is someone elses! The fan fiction posted here will differ, but it will probably start out as being twilight.
We'll Be Watching (Twilight)
This one is hilarious. It's a must read. I don't own this story. It belongs to Appy4la on Fanfiction.net. The characters belong to Stephanie Meyer and uhh... the hair dryer belongs to Kim Possible. blaugh Shoot, I love this one.

We'll Be Watching

Jacob Black was on the watch, or as his father insisted, Black Cat was on the watch. Edward and Bella could be seen about fifty feet ahead, talking quietly. Edward said something and they both glanced back. Jacob quickly whistled a jaunty little tune about a bluebird. As soon as the twosome ahead looked forward again, a beeping came from his pocket. He pulled out a walkie-talkie.

"Update now, Black Cat!" The staticy voice commanded.

Jacob scowled, pushed the reply button down and replied, "I think they're on to me, Dad."

"CODE NAMES!" the other voice insisted.

"Fine." Jacob agreed in a tone of long suffering, "I think they're onto me... Black Papa."

"Better."

"Do I really have to do this? It's so embarrassing!" Jacob whined into the walkie-talkie.

"Do you want that car piece or not!" His dad insisted. Jacob let the subject drop, but not before mumbling something about looking for a real job.

"Where are they now?" Billy Black asked.

Jacob glanced up at the sidewalk. Uh oh. He said as much to the walkie-talkie.

"What's uh oh? Did you loose them?" Billy asked.

"Well, yah. But there was no where for them to go! It's a dead end!"

"How could you?" Billy complained sounding crestfallen, but then his voice took on an enthusiastic tone, "I bet they went up on the roof! That's it! I know it!"

"Right, and I'm supposed to climb up the ladder after them?" Jacob asked sarcastically.

"No silly," Billy answered, "That would be much to slow. Use the Hair Dryer!"

"The Hair Dyer! NOOOooooooooo! That's way too embarrassing!"

"Hey! I paid good money for that thing! Use it or... Erm... No more car parts!"

"Fine, fine, anything but no car parts." He took the hair dryer from his "spy belt". High pitched giggles reached his ear. He winced as he saw two girls walking by pointing at him and his hair dryer. He hastily shoved it behind him.

"Never know when you might need a hair dryer in these parts!" He tried to explain. "You know, it always being soo.. wet here and all."

He felt his face burn as they passed into the next street.

"Abort! Abort! We've been discovered!" Jacob hissed into the walkie-talkie.

"black cat, I heard every word. You left your walkie-talkie on... again."

Jacob groaned.

"Black Cat! Activate the hair dryer," Billy suppressed a snicker, "NOW!"

"Fine" Jacob agreed resigned. Probably it wouldn't work anyways, it only worked in movies, right? Wrong.

Jacob hit the button and the grappling hook shot out to the top of the building. It caught with a snap and suddenly he was flying up the side of the building, shrieking. He reached the top more or less ok.

A cough-to-cover-up-laugh was coming from the walkie-talkie.

"What are you laughing at, Dad! I could have DIED!"

"First of all, CODE NAMES! Second, I could tell by your," more suppressed laughter, "screaming, that you were ok."

"I wasn't screaming." Jacob insisted glumly.

"Whatever. Anyhow... Where are 'Evil-one' and his hostage."

"You know dad, er, Black Papa, you could just call them Edward and Bella." Jacob said, thoroughly embarrassed as he looked up. Unfortunately, looking up, he first saw down, and discovered the fact that he disliked heights. With a squeal, he ran to the center of the roof.

"Where are they!" his dad insisted.

"Not here."

"Then you know what you must do." Billy said solemnly.

"No..." Jacob replied warily.

"Jump from roof to roof."

"Ack! NO!" Jacob screamed. "I know you want Bella alive, but what about me!" Panic and hysteria was present in his voice now. Billy's however was completely calm, and also, unfortunately, completely serious.

"Do. It. Now."

CLIFFY!

Meanwhile...

On the very same roof, not to far away, behind a chimney, Bella and Edward shook with silent laughter. Bella had tears streaming down her face and we’re sure if Edward was capable of tears, he would be laughing tears also. The two had cleverly doubled back and were thoroughly enjoying the entertainment.

Bella gasped for breath and choked out, "I loved the part when he pulled out the hair dryer!"

"Activate the Hair Dryer," She added gruffly, trying to imitate Billy's voice.

Edward agreed, nodding his head, "yea, but I especially loved the part when he called us 'the evil-one and the hostage.'"

Bella giggled, "not very nice of him to call you the hostage though."





 
 
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