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You ever just sit there and think. think till the days gone the sun replaced by the darkness adn only the gleam of the moon shineing to light your way?just disappear in a little place where time is just words not a fact. a concept. only that.

ive been doing that lately. just thinking. not as poetic or dramatized as that of which is above. i just gotta make everything so detailed its how i am.

well ive been trying to think back. remember me. you no nostalgia.
and i realize. i dont remember what i was like. not even a few years back when i was best friends with Demonkid and B. i have no idea y but i barely remember anything from then. i keep just travling back to that.

Who am i? i mean really? sometimes i feel fake. Am i this big teddy bear that anyone can turn to. or am i like i am when my ex mary comes around a mean ahsh a*****e who trys to tear apart somesones feelings for fun? ok i admit doing that to hers fun. she dumped me for someone then never even dated him. probly just ******** him. cause i wouldnt give that to her.

but i only remember being gullable,angry,stupid,etc etc as a kid. i did what i thought was fun. but felt bad if i got cought. i was a a*****e with a conscience probly the worst combo on the planet. but besides that i was also pretty damn smart.

and yet somehow im almost my polar opposite. i got picked on like the lowest of the low in school i was the prey. and im a kind kid now. a teddy. i rarely will show my anger around alot of people. and rarely use it. im self destructive paranoid depressed. i stay inside im unfit. and i suck at school beyond almost know measures cause im a lazy procrastinator.

the only thing that i seem to remembers stayed the same entirely is that i have a shitload of regrets. i regret picking on my neighbor. i regret the way i always ******** up any relationship i ever have. i regret how im not always the best friend people could have.

And i regret that i let people get me down. Why the ********! should i let someone walk up to me! and tell me! what i am and what im not? its retarded.

WELL! this is just a s**t laod of venting ^^. and trying to get my thoughts in perspective. and lo, even though i ******** up and could of had some really great people with me still im not sad. i got a pretty good group still. i still ahve good friends and i have my girlfriend even if shes over 1k miles away.

and maybe every o0nce and a while i should let my anger out and not leave it couped up. Jesus i pray for the person to piss me off XD. i have alot of anger to catch up for lol. never mind ill still try to be a nice guy. anyways peace out.

And if you read this. just be you ok?