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Well, long story short, mom has cancer and is dieing.
Her fiancé, who is the closest to a father I've ever had, is determined to do all he can to do the most he can to take care of mom and keep her out of the hospitol for as long as possible.
My sister, who always was a bit over the top, is trying to help in any way she can. And she just gets so pissed when she can't.
My nephew's only six, so he doesn't realy understand what is going on... And he's doesn't understand why Grandma is always doped-up, or why grand ma falls asleep, etc. And I know I need to spend more quality time with him, I'm just not that great at showing affection to family.
The thing is, my mom was adopted so I'm not realy related to my family. And that puts me in a bizar paradox... This turns my 'family' into "familure strangers".
I've learned that pain, aside from physical pain, is an emotion and to avoid pain all I need to do is to turn my back on emotion. Which, although does prevent me from suffering directly, prevents me from taking care of those that are, like me, standing on the side lines...
I don't know... It's late, and I'm drunk... And I should realy just turn off my mind and go to bed...

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