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In case you were wondering, Yes I am Panda. I was bestowed the nickname upon arriving at my Job Corps. facility.

Now before I get into how I arrived there I will start at the very beginning...

This all started, like most unfortunate stories, with a girl. A girl I was head over heels in love with. We met here on Gaia, and boy were we happy together, always around each other always happy. As a majority of you know I am heavily into BDSM (I know I don't look like I am.. anyway) She was my loyal Submissive and I her dedicated Master. I saw no one else and I was 100% faithful.

So one day I get into another bout with my mother, like we usually did, but this time it got out of hand. This time I was kicked out with nowhere left to go... So bags in hand I decide to head to a close friend's house. It was from there that I spoke to my love on a phone and decided to live with her. So I bought my ticket, quit my job, and said my good-byes.... Little did I know I was in for the struggle of my life.

I arrive in Kentucky February 2nd at about 11am, I was amazed to see the precious concrete, neon, and chrome buildings be replaced by brick wood and cows. We hugged, kissed, and that night, made love. It was the best day of my life, and the a happy 2 out of 4 months...

Times were getting hard, I had no money, no way to find a job and my welcome was being warn out. I ended up leaving her home and bouncing around from shelter to shelter, having to sink lower than ever, all for her. nothing but struggle and heartache, to make her happy. We even lost a child..1 and 1/2 months in. That right there was my breaking point.....I finally decided to jump to Job Corps,

Finally June 1st I arrived at Great Onyx Job Corps. Once I arrived I started to think about everything I've done so far and the struggle and realized that I had to make the first Adult decision in my life and that was to take a break from my number one distraction... Now that is how it started...a break, but after the events proceeding this.. I know for sure now that it is over...

I come back to New York for Summer break. My first time seeing my family in about 6 months. I spend 3 days in my mothers house and we already get into an argument. I even spent my last $50 on some stupid Pokemon game for my sister only to have her give me attitude and drama (damn teenagers). So I left and decided to stay in my Uncle's house the remainder of my Summer break. While I am here I receive a phone call from my mother.. She called me to ask about my little brother but I knew there was more judging by her tone. Just as I was thinking that she tells me about my girl, leaving her a message. In a nut shell it describes my lost child to have been a girl and how I am a cheater and user. All of this because of a 13 year old girl I have as a FRIEND. I only added her because she seemed like a pretty mature person for her age. I obviously wouldn't fall into that because HELLO SHE'S JAIL BAIT. But of course that isn't good enough for my girl. See apparently, when I confronted her about the letter to my mother, she says I didn't show her I loved her, and that I didn't say it enough, when I sacrificed EVERYTHING for her and told her I loved her as every single day, every single hour!

What made everything worse, I mean what really hurt me was hearing the words "I don't trust you" come from her lips. I was so shaken that I got off the phone with her and cried for a girl for the first time ever. After that I decided like many others in my life told me, you can't have a relationship without trust, after all, how can you love a person you cannot trust?" And so I realized my relationship is over and all I can say now is.. We've had a good run, we've fought a good fight, but we need to realize that it just isn't meant to be

For Now I will just focus on what I have to do and thats get on my feet. I will be a future Computer Technician and when that time comes...I will hack you all ^^

(JK about the hacking D: ) smile