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I haven't added an entry in a while. I guess because no one really reads it, and if they do, it's crap already >w<.

Actually, no, I have some things to say about my life.

I have a journal I write in everyday, almost. My mom found out about it, and was interrogating me about it. I write down how my day went, my personal thoughts/beliefs I have. I don't even want people to KNOW those things, regardless. So, whether she REALLY read it, or not, I ripped out the pages and hid them.. some where SAFE from everyone to read. I still add to it, because I can't trash those memories. Ever since I started it felt like a weight was taken off my chest and that I could truly express myself, and for this whole month I have felt better and more easy going since.. a long time. I feel like I can't tell people because I either don't trust them or want to weigh them down with my problems. Or maybe it's that I don't know them well enough, or something. And I have felt more confident, even though I know I probably shouldn't.

My hair was getting washed out, so I re-dyed it again. I was supposed to go to a friends out and go to her church to see a "magician", so I quickly hopped in and dyed it. My hair is so thick, I need two bottles. Then it has to set a little longer than normal. I tryed to wash it out the best I could, but I just gave up. So after spending HALF an hour trying to get it all washed out, I found out later that it wasn't. My hair didn't turn out the color on the box, but more of a reddish color. Oh, joy. So, I went to her house, and then while I was letting my hair down to dry, and then the wet parts of my hair put red spots on my WHITE button up shirt, which now needs to be washed FOR SCHOOL since we have stupid uniforms.

I have a crush on "Prince Charming" or the "Wall Guy" as people on Gaia know him as from my story. I think he may like me, too. He notices where I am a lot, and comments on it. Normally he doesn't say anything [that I know of] to people about that, unless that ask or start talking to him. If I don't notice him, he will say, "Yeah, I was there," There's also something about his smile, in his eyes, that I can't place, but it makes me feel comfortable to like him. Usually I'm paranoid of liking someone because they don't like me or I'm getting my hopes up.

SATs and Writing Assesments are coming up for English II in the next couple of weeks. I have to pass, because I just barely passed on the pre test. My mom always pressures me to make straight A's or EXTREMELY high B's, but then she says, "I just want you to do your best you don't have to make that high" then, later, "I KNOW you are capable of it, so DO IT!" If I study, I get paranoid and nervous at the test, pressuring myself to HAVE to know it, since I spent so much time on it. Whereas if I just look over my notes or a study guide right before the test, I'm more likely to pass/get a better score than not studying or studying at home.

Shakespeare in the Park is also in the next couple of weeks, and while I don't have to do an entire play, I still have two monologues to learn, along with a sonnet and a scene of A Midsummer's Night Dream with two other people in it. While it doesn't seem like much, I'm going to have to be in a heavy fairy costume all day, while performing each thing at LEAST four times each, throughout the day. I know I can memorize that much but I am jittery about my SATs and Assesments. >_> I hate those, even though I love to write, as you can tell from my post, here.

I got a two on my pretest. That's barely passing. I want to be a travel write, but a 2 isn't going to cut it. I don't get it. I guess I can write, a LOT, but just not very well to represent myself properly. I brought my English II grade up from an 84-85 to a 94, which is nearly ten points higher. Which went from a low B to a good A. I thought my mom would be proud, or at least happy to know that I did good and was trying in that class. Wrong. She just brought up the Pre tests and how much I sucked at the informative essay. Then I brought up that I was on a rather short list for people exempt from a 2nd nine weeks vocabulary test. That meant that if you got all A's on your vocabluary tests, then you would be exempt from taking on in the next nine weeks. Since I acheived that, and got A's on ALL of them, I told my mom, rather proud of myself. She just shrugged and said, "That's nice," and then continued on her day. I was rather crushed.

Two sweet guys were at the church tonight, and I thought they were awesome. I found out they had NEVER had girlfriends, which was rather hard to beleive. They weren't that bad looking, and their personalities were awesome [I look that that more].

P.S. My hair dye left a spot on my neck that I COULDN'T get off that looked like a hickie on my neck. It was rather hard to have my hair up and not get a certain "secret" stare, or something, and my hair was too frizzy to let stay down.

I guess I'm just a teenager who doesn't know how to balance out her life.