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Undo the strings attaching me to myself
This journal doesn't follow a set thing. I write about whatever whenever. Want me to discuss something, send me a PM and I will write about it in here.
I am going to put up a story and entry
Entry first. then the story I was feeling down yesterday but all my friends reassured me of my importance in their lives. and, Matt, You have helped me a lot as well. If you others don't know, Matt has been reasuuring me that god is one my side and for a while i didn't believe him but now i do. B/c why, if god wasn't on my side, would he send someone like Matt to reassure me that he is. I feel loved by many and God. Also for the longest time in my life I didn't even believe god existed and when we died we just came back in another life. But than is very hard to believe b/c if it were true then why can i not remember any of my other lives. What i do belive is that if we want a little more time in the world god will give us another life to live to its fullest or he will wait until we are sure we are ready to fall into his grace. i didn't figure this out until yesterday and it was thanks to Matt b/c he has pointed things out to me and helped me in the right direction of life.

Chapter One: The Empty Land

sry for any spelling, grammer, or puctuation mistakes made in this story

Whisps of her silver hair flew with the wind. She stood staring at the blank space that used to occupy the old carnval that had been there for a year until it got shut down. She used to go to the carnival everyday until 3 and 1/2 years ago, when her brother died.

Flash Back

She giggled as her brother led her to the roller coaster that he had promised to let her ride now that she was old enough. he brother, Jeffery, looked back at her and smiled. It was that rare smile that he only used wen looking at her. Many times he had remined her that he loved her and would protect her no matter how far apart they would get.

She smiled back at him with the smile she only used with him. It was rare to see brother and sister act so nice to each other but they had no one else. their parents had died years before and her Brother was old enough to take care of her on his own. So he back her father and brother. she looked up to him and never once disagreed with him. She would do what he wanted and he never really wanted much done.

They stepped onto the rickitty seat of the roller coaster. Jeffery helped her with her seat belt and told her to keep her eyes open wide or she might miss something fun. So the roller coaster started and they eased up the hill. She shrieked with thrill as they roller coaster decended from its perch on the top of the hill. Her Bother just sat the smiling with joy. Then they were in the middle of the loop and all of a sudden her brother fell from his seat. He fell screaming with terror and fear and She just sat there screaming.

They got the roller coaster to a safe disposition spot and got all the people out. She ran toward her brother's ragged up body. he turned his head and looked at his little sister with love.

"I'll be waiting for you, Illaina (Ill-A-nuh)" Jeffery said and The light from his eyes disappeared as his spirit floated to the heavens. Illaina sat there in utter shock. they tried to pull her away from her brothers body but they couldn't do it. She was only 11 years of age but right then she felt as if her childhood had left her. Illaina picked up Jeffery's body and started to walk away. No one stopped her. No dared to stop her. She walked to the only she knew was best to put his body. The tree that he had always read to her at. that was the best place. that was where their bodage of sibilinghood had started.

End of flash back

She could remember that day as if it were yesterday. But it had been exactaly three years and a half years ago. She could remember the day the sitting under the tree and reading had started.

flash back

"Come on, Illaina. Mom says we have to go outside." Jeffery said. It was a fall crisp day in autum. Jeffery was stroming out the door with a book in his hand. he loved to read ven though he was only 12.

Illaina hopped out of the chair she was in and turned off the sunday morning cartoons. She walked out side and found jeffery under a tree reading his book again. She walked down the porch steps and went to the tree. She plopped down beside him and stared at him for a while.

"Whatcha readin, jeffery?" She asked in her 5 year old voice. Jeffery looked at her for a minute before answering.

"I'm reading a horror novel." He said.

"What's that?" Illaina asked him.

"It is a horror book but the story never really happened."
jeffery said.

"Why do you read it then?" She asked him. jeffery sighed slightly annoyed but knew better than to yell at his young sister.

"How about i read it to you so you can find out? You might like it." Jeffery suggested.

"Okay. I'll listen real closely so i won't miss anything." Illaina said happily.

"Do you do that all the time? Listen real closely to things?" jeffery asked her.

"NO, not really." She reasponded.

"Well you should or else you might miss something fun. Keep your eyes open wide and the world will be your story to write about." jeffery said. Illaina nodded her head even though she had no clue as to what he mean.t

"Like this?" She asked and opened her eyes as wide as she could.

"Well sorta. But you don't have to walk around like that. Now let's read." Jeffery said and began the book.

End Falsh Back

It had taken Illaina a while to find out the words true meaning. She had realized that what he had meant was look at what you've got and try to make the best of it and if you don't look around every once in a while you could miss more than a little. So she did as he said and started her life story the day she had lost him. She didn't have paper so she couln't write it and she didn't have a computer so she couldn't type it. but she could tell it to hr young ones and let her story of grief and hope to survive live on so she wouldn't be forgotten.



Well that is the end of chapter one. I hoped you all like it. THe next entry i am going to make will be a lot like this and will have then entry fist and then the story. plz tell me what you think of this story. I would really like to know.





 
 
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