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Undo the strings attaching me to myself
This journal doesn't follow a set thing. I write about whatever whenever. Want me to discuss something, send me a PM and I will write about it in here.
entry and story again
well i am feeling good b/c i have started a story that i am almost sure i wil finish this time. It has nothing to do with anime this time though. I also feel good b/c some of my feelings are coming out in this story. but they are hard to find.

Chapter 3: The meaning

Illaina woke up and looked at her clock. It read 6:32a.m. She hopped out of bed and put on some black baggy pants and a short sleeved black T-shirt. She walked out of her aparment. Even though she was only 14 she had an apartment. No one wanted to take care of her. They were all afraid of her.

Illaina walked to her rbothers gave to find the book still there but a dead leaf was in its pages. Something told her not to move the leaf /c it would upset Jeffery. She guessed he had started the book after all.

"What does your dream mean brother?" She asked calmly. The wind blew and leaves scrambled but no answer came to her.

"I don't uderstand what you want me to do. Please help me. I will dream one more night for your answer. I know i shouldn't be so demanding of you but i really want to here you voice again but not your voice at the carnival. I hate that voice but I love it all the same as well. I will sleep again today. I will go back home right now and sleep and i will wait for your answer and if it doesn't come tonight then I won't think of it again." Illaina said and walked back to her house. As she got up dizzyness swept under her feet and she feel to the ground. She fell onto her brother's grave and was knocked unconsious.

She found her self by the tree with Jeffery again but this time she wasn't five. She was 14 and he was what she imagined he would have looked like at the age of 21. They were under the tree again but his grave was there and he sat looking at it with a smile.

"Why are you smiling, Jeffery? you shouldn't be happy you are dead." Illaina said with her older voice.

"I may be smiling but i am not happy i am dead. I am happy though. I'm happy for you. You have grown up into a beautiful woman and you don't need me any more. I also like the book. You need to search the world sis. there is still much for you to see. You don't need to stay in this wretched town anymore." Jeffery said in a masculin voice.

"But i don't want to leave you all alone here, Jeffery." Illaina argued. jeffery turned to her smiling.

"you won't be. y body may be left here but my spirit will follow you. I will watch over you and you can talk to me whenever. I will see you every night and will hope that you will see me in your dreams." jeffery said.

'So you will visit me in my dreams every night?" Illaina asked with excitement.

"Yes I will. We can call it dream talking. So you won't miss me and i won't miss you. Oh i saw mom and dad today. They are doing as well as can be. They say that the car werck didn't hurt a bit and they died as soon as it happened.They miss you and are going to be waiting for you." jeffery said to his sister.

'One question; do you guys age up there?" illaina asked.

"Only if we want to. You can change your age almost. You can only go so far back in age. Like me i can only be 18 and older and mom and dad can only be the ages that they died and older. That's a small flaw but it is an okay flaw that i can live with. well you need to wake up now. someone is looking out for you." jeffery said and then disappeared into thin air just like the last time.


Illaina woke up with a gasp. She looked around to find a figure sitting at the tree in the morning fog. Illaina stood up and stared at the figure. the figure got up and walked toward her. It was a boy no it was a man. Not like a 20 year old man but a 16 or 17 year old man. Not a teenager but a man. He looked like he had lost his childhood to and had grown just as she.

"What do you want?" She asked harshly.

"well I found you lying here asleep so i thought 'what the hell, why not let her sleep.' so i just watched you sleep to make sure no disturbed you. I'm sorry if i had frightend you." The man said.

"No one would have bothered me anyway. They don't like me enough to bother me and they fear me to much to bother me. So why did you watch me?" Illaina asked.

"I was told to." he said simply.

"By who?" Illaina asked.

"Your brother. He is a nice man might i tell you. When did he die?"The man asked her. Illaina was now scared b/c the man claimed to have talked ti her brother.

"How do you know my brother?" she asked backing away from the man a little bit.

"My sleep. This morning a man told me to go to this tree an there would be a young woman there. Jeffery said it was his sister so i am assuming that is you Illaina." The man said.

"So my brother did talk to you. Well now that you know my name what is yours?" illaina asked.

"My name is Jason Derstien. and your name is Illaina Renee Morbid am i right?" jason asked.

'Yes you are." Illaina said, "Are you new here cuz i mean even if i dream toldyou to come to me why would you?"

"No i am not new. I have lived here ever since my birth. Then at 5 my parents died and then at 6 my oldest brother died in war and then at 10 my other brother died." jason said, "So i am left all alone. What i have heard is you are too am i right?"

"Yeah. My parents died when i was nine and my brother died when i was 11. So i am all alone just like you. Do you want to go for a walk?" Illaian asked.

"Sure i have nothing more to do." jason responded. He tucked his hands in his pockets if his pants and started to walk off. Illaina followed.





 
 
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