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A friend once told me that a damsel isn't the only one who's ever in distress.

I think those are the most wonderful words that anyone's ever said to me, and I really can't thank her enough for uttering such a thing to me.

Though.. Asking for help in all of my problems would be wrong. Even I know that.

All of my life, I've simply lived in this hell. I've done my best to fight back. To ignore what bad was brought my way. Desperately, I've tried. And yet.. Swallowing my sorrows doesn't change the fact that they are there. At least, not for long. For one such as myself to speak from the heart, it takes quite a while. I've learned not to cry when I fight with people, to show no emotion when someone hurts me. There have been those to learn my emotional patterns, and I'd like to thank those that have, for I am a very complicated individual. I would also like to apologize for all of my wrong doings. I cannot name names. I will not. I refuse.

However, to those who might stumble upon this.. For those of you who do stumble upon this and have been mentioned.. For those who care to read this...

I'm sorry.

I've resorted to old tactics once again.

The very same tactics which taught me not to cry when I'm sad (though crying when I'm scared is a totally different situation). The same tactics that had people questioning my health. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the same tactics I haven't resorted to in quite some time that everyone hated and tried to stop me from doing. These tactics, as they are, will leave everlasting scars for me to "dog-ear" this worsening story of mine. For I'm losing my mother, her boyfriend is indescribably close to being put in jail (of course, because of me), my little sister is getting out of hand, and my grandpa is beginning to look sickly. I fear for the future. Not only my own, but this family's. My family.

My grandpa, my uncle and I.

It's the only family I've ever really known, and I've never appreciated them more than I do now.

Thank you.

And, once again, I'm sorry.