After a... VERY regrettable, year and a half long absence on my part (SO MANY CHANGES, GRAH! MY GUILD IS GOOOONE! I FAILED EPICALLY! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY MESSAGES?!), I was convinced by my sister to post something for her convenience. Thus leading to above mentioned freak out. So, here is the... thing which caused me to return far too late.
Sister says:
I am so rubbing off on you. Bad. 8D
Pink says:
Horrible, horrible influence.
Sister says:
I am not. :C
Pink says:
You're a true Paragon of Humanity.
Sister says:
xD Explain. Go.
Pink says:
You show the finest qualities humanity has to offer. YOu're a hero, a bloody icon. The galaxy gathers itself around you and follows your lead. And you are the only one who can save it.
WHAT DO?
..Did I do it right?
Sister says:
..Use my influence at the nearest tavern before rushing off mindlessly, swerving, into danger? 8D
Pink says:
-ABOVE ACTION
You head into a local tavern, women and men alike only just stopping from throwing themselves at your feet. Your Swagger (Trademarked Old Spice) automatically gains you five free tankards of ale. After gleefully downing them all in two gulps of pure MANLINESS, you rush into the open yonder, searching for adventure. It finds you in the form of twelve, low intelligence goblin warriors.
WHAT DO?
Sister says:
I sick my beast dog on them while flailing blindly with my dual wield shortswords at approx their neck/chest height.
Pink says:
-DOGGIE TIME!
Your epic beast of war shines with bloodlust, anhiliating your pathetic foes with a sharp snap of his jaws. Apparently, low intelligence also means low health. They flee in terror in the only direction their small mins can think of, to the pinnacle of awesome before them. You swords slice through their skulls, their own force driving them through. As your dog nibbles on their bones,
your flaily takes on a mystical glow and all of them fall. Or maybe it was the nuke power up they dropped. Who knows?
*flailing
WHAT DO?
*grins* I think I have something here.
Yay for two thirty writing!
Sister says:
I take a break to play fetch with my dog, drink some more ale and let him snack. :3
Pink says:
-PICNIC!
Your dog brings you the severed head of your fallen foes, which you toss as a final insult to their corpses. As he runs, coat shining GLORIOUSLY in the sun, your pure win causes them all to spawn rare brews from the island of I.D.G.A.F. Your inhebriation scale going up fast, your dog brings back the head in his teeth, skipping merrily through the bloody battlefield. He lays at your side,
nomming on the paltry pickings of the goblin's head contents, before switching over to the far more satisfying torso.
WHAT DO?
Sister says:
..Pass out.
Pink says:
-NAPPY!
As the grass itself transforms into a down bed underneath you, your head slams into the nature-given pillow. The sun shines through your perfectly groomed locks, the animals all fighting viciously against any "threats" that come near. Your dog then pukes on your matress, but you have not a care. Nothing can interupt the sleep of a manly-hero such as yourself.
How am I doing?
Sister says:
..I love you.
Pink says:
*grins* I am SO saving this.
Want to continue?
Sister says:
YOU'D BETTER. Show Chris. xD YES. GOGOGO.
Pink says:
-RANDOM ENOCUNTER!
As you wake, the very idea of a hangover not daring to show itself in your presence, a mystical unicorn prances into the cleering, it's rainbow mane glittering in the sun like a gay narwhal. But on land. Or perhaps you're still passed out. Whatever the cause, your dog sniffs it cautiously, before basking in it's near-as-cool-as-you aura.
WHAT DO?
Sister says:
Cautiously move to within a yard of it and grunt unintelligibly.
Pink says:
-GRUNTING IS THE NEW INSPIRATIONAL SPEECH!
The unicorn does not shy from you, tilting it's head to show respect and awe. Your grunts cause it to neigh happily, doing a super jump into the air, leaving behind a DOUBLE RAINBOW~ As it lands on your bed with a strange squish sound, it jumps again to be nearer to your manly, manly self.
YOU GAINED OVER NINE THOUSAND EXP!
WHAT DO?
Sister says:
Play the 8-bit Final Fantasy fanfare and distribute all my points into the "Pure ******** awesome badassery" category.
Pink says:
-BECAUSE THERE IS NO KILL LIKE OVERKILL!
As music from the golden age of JRPGS surrounds you, the world, the galaxy, nay, trhe very universe shakes in anticipation, the likes of which the world has never seen. A beautiful light of rainbows spreads from the very fibers of your being, all enemies within sevreal million kilometers disapear screeching in agony as it inglufs them. Clothes were ripping
acros the space time continuum, causing art the likes of which humanity had never dreamed, begining the Renaissance, inspiring Shakespeare, and causing the asari to find the Citadel by falling onto their navigational computers in pure bliss. The shockwave slowly peters out, leaving behind a being so awesome its very existence creates enough energy to divide by zero... TWICE.
YOU CLASS HAS SPECIALIZED TO BECOME CHUCK NORRIS!
WHAT DO?
Sister says:
..Head back to the tavern. 8]
Pink says:
******** awesome badassery enough for you?
Sister says:
xD Does it get any better?
Pink says:
Possibly.
Depends on how tired I get.
Sister says:
xD Post it somewhere. Simple. Like a Gaia journal. So Alex can see. PL0X.
Pink says:
I will.
Oh, trust me, I will.
This is why I shouldn't DM. I turn into a Large Ham.
Sister says:
Right now. I love it. Also, define what 'Large Ham' is in your nerd world.
Pink says:
-IT'S ALWAYS GOOD TIME FOR VODKA!
Your two companions now paleing in comparison to your awesomeness, you head back to the tavern, cheers erupting in the streets as naked people dance freely, feeling safe for the first time in millenia. You head back to your not-so-humble begginings, the unicorn somehow managing to sit carefully next to you as your dog sits at your feet. You are showered with
enough alcohol to kill the average person, but not you. No, you down the lot as your core of kickass defends your body from the notion of alcohol posioning, but mysteriously allowing the pleasant effects through to shine GLOURIOUS upon your being. Suddenly, the unicorn tranforms. IT WAS TURNED INTO A ROBOT UNICORN OF DOOOOOOM FROM ENVY!
"A ridiculously larger-than-life character typically played by a guest star with an Internet Movie Database listing longer than the rest of the cast put together. Full of energy, joie de vivre and nothing but line readings and dramatic gestures that can shake a scene to pieces. "
WHAT DO?
"Every single line of dialogue will be given as if it were a pronouncement from Heaven itself — WITH! ADDED! EMPHASIS!."
"As far as approaches go, this kind of world usually follows either of these two ways to escape the impending Narmy Doom that it seems to call upon itself, as if it were a man in a copper armor on the top of a hill during a thunderstorm pointing his iron lance to the sky and screaming his scorn towards the Gods at the top of his lungs, defying them to strike him!"
Sort of like that.
Sister says:
Hmm... I spank it and tell it to calm its shiny a** down while I'm drinking. >:C
NOW STOP.
Pink says:
HAMMER TIME.
...Okay.
Congratulations, THAT is how I return. Maybe I should disappear again for good, eh?
Asuna6573 Community Member 
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