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Missa Defunctorum
praise the lost souls, it'll set yours free
Somebody that I used to know
Another beautiful weekend by Luis's side.
I can honestly say that THIS is what people spend their lives searching for.

I really hope all the people in my life find it, appreciate it, and hold onto it.
I'll always do whatever I can to make Luis happy, because that's called love.
I'd do anything to know his days are brighter and brighter.

We may go through hard times, but every single day I'll fight through the rain for him.

I really hate to know you're hurting, Paige.
Honestly, in all the years I've known you I've realized you're probably the closest thing I have to a best friend right now and it kills me to know that you're going through so much.
I'll do my best to stand by your side, which I'm sure is pretty intense for you to read because I think lately we've had like this unspoken closeness, yknow?

But, really, other than Luis you're the person I talk to the most outside of my family.
I feel like I can tell you anything and you can do the same.

I'm sure you're not really "looking for a best friend" after everything that happened,
but you're mine right now so I'll be the ear you complain to whenever you want, about anything you want. smile I hope that made you feel a little bit better.

And to you,
I'm not really sure what I was asking for or thinking of in the journal the other day. I'm not even sure if I could handle being best friends with you ever again.

I think I was just going through a spout of nostalgia, every once in a while I'm entitled to miss the old days.
But how long ago were those old days the current days?
Honestly, I think our lives have taken a left and a right, two separate directions away from each other.

I doubt we'd ever be able to reconcile our differences, nor would either of us ever put in the effort to hash out these problems and come to an understanding.

Out of all my relationships, you were the worst to try to communicate with. That's the truth. And I'm sure you can say the same.

We could talk about things going on in one another's lives, but when it was a problem with another we'd let things build up to the point where we'd have to go months without talking to each other.

"I don't want to live that way, reading into every word you say."

I mean, really, ******** that. I've spent years analyzing every last thing you've ever said. How much of it as really amounted to nothing at all? Probably most of it.

How many things have you said that actually had any truth, meaning, or sincerity?

We used to say that we were the only people we could count on until the end of time. I'm sorry that's changed, but I'm not sorry I found someone else you genuinely loves and would do anything for me.

At times I miss you, but I miss the old you. I guess its time to lay that person to rest in my mind, because she'll never come back. I suggest you do the same for any image you have of me in your head. Neither of us are the same kids we were when we met.





 
 
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