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well im tired of people who complian about their life (how it sucks and its terrible..why wont it end..all the f'ing bs)...and other people will be like..if it sucks then change it..only you can make your life better and all that bull..well let me tell you there are some f'ing crappy as heck lives out there that cant just magically be changed because you work hard to change it!!..
now i know there are many people whose life it crappy and very well could be crappier then mine..and im sure there are plenty of people..this whole entry isnt supposed to be all about me and my crappy life..im just giving examples from my life why that saying (then change it to make it better) is a bunch of croc!..
so here goes...if i listen to that so called positive saying then let me start at the first thing i would change..well i was 4months old when my father died..so guess that would be the begin to my crappy life...now how could i possibly change that????!!!!..hmmm find a magical spell go to his grave site use the spell and he would magically crawl out of his grave...bull f'ing crap! ..first off if that was possible..then wouldnt he be oh idk a zombie..part of the walking dead...or maybe a vampire?? part of the living dead...or a visible spirit...part of the astro plane..so i guess i cant change that now can it??..so some would say then get a new daddy...well a.) i dont want a new daddy...i want my daddy...(sorrry when get pissed get sarcastic'ish so using the word daddy for some strange reason,know that isnt sarcastic..but idk)...b.)how cruel would i be to replace my daddy..a daddy i never knew..with some f'ing stranger..c.) hello im not match maker here!! and shouldnt my mother choose if she wants to remarry or not!?..and this could go on..so imma shut it..
secondly..had a crappy a'' childhood (but who really hasnt)...been abused..both pyshically and with words..which caused me to internalize which is probably why i feel crappy all the time and why im not really healthy (have a s**t load of crap wrong with me..but not diagonoized for hate doctors (think they are a bunch of idoits that dont know s**t..just doing guess work until something seems to sound correct)..anyways..most of my memories of the past are bad...guess could have changed that if had the strength..or the courage..i guess..who knows to late now...
3rd..have dealt with alot of f;ing death...cant fix or change that can i?? so how to make it better...oh idk...killing myself to be with them..yeah never had the courage...
4th dont have any real/true friends really (maybe kinda 1..idk)..but im shy and keep to myself..the friends i did have when younger all lefted me for cooler popular people..and then those few that stay turned out to be user (used me to feel better themselves or for stuff)..and some just wanted me to be more miserable so they felt almost normal..idk..touchy subject...so got no one really...but this i could change to make better..just need to get out of my shell ..but wont for hate people and dont really see the point anymore since this world is going to h e l l...
5th..new info...someone close to me has cancer again..and it aint good..so f;ing people tell me how can i f'ing change that!!!!????????????????....-_- I CANT THATS MY POINT!!!
there are some things in this world you cant change to make better!!!!!!!! so my life sucks and i cant make it better..so people shut the f' up and never tell me "you can make it better" because i cant..cant bring back dead people..and i cant F'ING STOP F'ING CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

please excuse the spelling errors dont really care about spelling when angry..and please excuse the language know didnt really say the words but implied them throughout it...