Well, once again i see myself coming back the empty canvas that is this journal, So full of emotions and yet so sick of them. I often look back on the days of old, and realize though i have grown older and perhaps in some ways wiser, nothing has really changed. I still feels has though a deep depression lives within me, continuing to eat at what is left of this broken and weather corpse.
Perhaps it is simply my own fault for dwelling on event long past, and best forgotten. Or for being so open as to expose myself to the evils and dramas of this world.
One would say my life is wonderful, and truth be told, i am privileged enough to have all that i do and am thankful each and every day for what i have. But Physical materiel gain is nothing. I would give up everything i own and my imperfect life. To be loved by one for whom i am and one that i could share such feelings for. I'm not asking for some fairy tale perfect romance, just for one to love me, as much as i love another...
There is one whom i feel for, but i fear that path may never be crossed and not for a lack of trying either. Alas things just aren't meant to be in this life time so it would seem.
I am however thankful for one, whom has stood with me through this all, and despite her own set backs and problems, has not let go.. My best friends in the entire world. one whom i could most certainly not live without, Amber.
They say friends will come and go, but family is forever, and if that is true, then she is as much family than my own sister. I love her dearly and with each passing day it provides me with a glimpse of happiness, i cannot help but smile when she is around, even if she is 15 hours away by plane.
Perhaps that is enough emotion for today, enough flooding this canvas with my ink. I shall put down the pen and retreat for the time being.
This is Raven Dragonfire for channel 13 news signing off.
Raven DragonFire · Sat Nov 03, 2012 @ 11:46am · 0 Comments |