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It's not too much.

I need you, you know. Oh, I'm happy and I came to the realization of these truths and I've written. I've written! I've written and I know I can do these things. I am Randell Delgado Mercado and I am me and I know. Came to the realization and that's not even the right phrase.

I only had blurred vision for a few days. It was enough to make those mistakes, but I know I have remembered the truth and I've seen it whole for what it is.

I am him and I am a human and that is wonderful. It's funny. I need this and it would be easier to not and continue in the same false hidden ways. I wanted to not need what I needed and deny my soul because I was deluded with the idea of control and mastery. I blinded myself with that. But I know what I need. I accept the things I need and I have to pursue what I need because, hell, I need them. You can't be without that which you need.

I know I need you and it's even better that I have wanted you and want you now even through all of this. I really did good things today! The right decision. I wrote and I went out in pursuit of your breath in the wind. I made the right decision after I made the wrong ones and it is thrilling to find my own soul and the humanity of making mistakes and making the right decisions after ******** up terribly. I made the right decision to not die. I made the right decision to send messages of truth and trembling clips of my voice. I made the right decisions and this is the strength you tried to tell me about.

Brilliant, right? I am. It's the strangest thing to not say that out of that facade of pride, but out of my humanity knowing that there was truth in your words. I'm happy and I have been happy since my original pursuit of you. I blurred and stumbled, but hey, I'm human and I learned. That is just beautiful and this continued pursuit to be where I belong is what keeps me happy. I'm pursuing what I need and it makes me happy that I am being true and I want to show you the truth in you that I have seen in you and just how brilliant you are.

Your light illuminated me.

It's a funny thing. I studied physics and I know that it's all interconnected. The company. I'm an idiot for saying I didn't want you to have that. I was blind. This is a universe of light and matter and I am a part of that and whole in myself with you inside every single part of me.

I want to explain all of this to you in harrowing detail and I want to talk to your friends, especially Linnea and those ones, because I want to show them who I am and let them know that this is pure and good. I want to redeem myself to them, I suppose, because they matter to you and they matter to me. I am not giving up and that is the wonderful strength of myself.

To struggle under the despair of terrible mistakes to correct and have things right. I've never done this. I've given up on everything the moment it conflicted with that pride and hollowing mask shop. Not this and that's really amazing to me.

I am your lover and I'll show that. I told you that's who I was and it's true.

I'm whole and you are here inside every single part of me from my body, to my mind, and my soul only needs yours to return to the entwinement. It needs you. I need you.

I love you, darling, and I won't give up until I'm dead. Dramatic, sure but I've got the strength of real conviction, and it's true! Haha. It's been too long since I've stared at the sky and fell into a sense of wonder.

I am astonished at you because you're in every part of me and that's exactly what I need. I've gone all the way, now there's only to bring you where you belong.

I've seen you completely in the rawness of our entwinement and when we would lay in bed speaking and not speaking and breathing and smoking and no one else has ever been there.

I am really very sorry, but I'll make it right. I'm doing so by staying and coming closer and not giving up and this flickering of my soul is burning bright and true and it keeps the despair where it belongs.

I am happy. I am happy and I like to admit it because I only truly said it to you and I just scream it. I've been literally screaming your name into the sky and these truths and it feels good.

It's all you. It's of you in all of me and I am still there in you and I cannot be taken away.