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This is no lie, you are the most bullshit person I have ever met. How many people does a person call a best friend? How many times will you tell me about how you flirt with this guy or that girl or whatever? I don't like it, I don't like your frame of mind, I don't like your general attitude and I hate that you pretend that I'm special to you. I'm not, can't you just stop pretending? Stop lying to me, stop telling me that I'm your best friend when you treat me like ninety percent of your other male friends. I never wanted to be a person's b***h and I certainly won't be yours. You don't think like me, you don't see the way I see things, at times you tell me you love the way I see things, other times you tell me that you wish I saw things differently. Make up your mind.

Most of the time, it doesn't feel like you'll ever get past your shallow side, past that piece of you that has changed you like this. That ego. That pride. That busyness, that vain and emptiness that scares me.

Maybe if you could see me for who and what I really am, and see the way I see things, and see the real insanity in this ******** up world - maybe, and only maybe - you would look at me with a gaze that would warm my heart and heal my wounds. I doubt that you ever could, because the numbness and vanity in your words is now a common place - your action are artificial and ubiquitous.

I'm lonely and when I think of you, I feel empty. When the world comes crashing down, and when all we have said has been heard, I don't think I could let you down - you don't expect me to do much any more, I'm too distant to you, you need nothing from me. If I were to die, you would not feel a loss, you would forget me in a few years and in ten years after that, I would have never existed.

I miss your care, but I'll never have it again because everything feels so fake - all the moments feel fabricated, everything is put behind masks and there are expectations of me that I can't live up to.

There was time, I would burned the world for you, I would have drilled into the eyes of any person, I would detonated any bomb and collapsed any building. Now, the background noise swallows you, and you don't care - you never cared. You never did.

Popular little girl with many friends among the nerds that we are all deemed to be, you'd be the beauty queen and I'd be the class loser. It's like the universe forgot me and you drifted away from me forever.

Wounds like these don't heal, they only scar up and I can merely hope that I grow past them.

Imagine if we actually worked out, imagine if we I actually still planed to meet you, imagine the smiles of our children, imagine my smile on your lips, imagine me providing for you, giving you everything you could desire, living a life away from worry, away from stress, only among our own pleasures and our own dreams, living among the friends we cherish, among the world we love. Imagine if we were more than ghosts who were once lovers, imagine if you saw me in a positive light, imagine the sunsets we would share, instead of waiting hours to talk to each other, imagine if we actually waited for each other, imagine if you never grew bored of me, imagine if love wasn't such a silly word in a ******** up world.