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There must something wrong in the way I feel, because she doesn't want me to feel.

You always said that you enjoyed me and my company, that you enjoyed my drunk calls to you. I only talk to you about you and how you make me feel, so why do you bring up the past and others? Nobody knows how I feel because nobody cares about that, you don't have to worry about your image.

I'm shaking and I have been on edge since that night, I refuse to feel anything right now. I refuse to be anyone, I refuse to be immature or mature, I refuse to say anything to anyone about any of this.

I understand that everyone is against me for my feelings. I understand that a lot of people think I'm wrong and creepy for feeling like this. I understand that I'm not wanted. I understand that I'm nothing to everyone here. I understand that I'm nothing like people expect me to be, or want me to be. People want someone who is nothing like Daniel.

I get it, you feel like s**t because you feel like I'm trying to guilt trip you. I feel shitty because you don't like me, and that's not your fault, so stop trying to think that. I'm not stupid, I know you can't control who you like and who you love and all that. I'm not stupid, I know you can't love some people and other people are easier to love than others. I'm not stupid, I'm not blaming you, I am not blaming you for this. I wasn't blaming you then, I am not blaming you now - because nobody is to blame apart my stupid self for feeling like this. I guess nobody will understand that.
Now the world is against me for something that the world doesn't understand.

Not many people speak to me and people only speak to me for specific reasons. And that's fine. But I hate it when they pretend that I'm a friend to them. Don't pretend with me. Be only truthful, and you will get everything I can give you.

Nobody changes. I didn't change. Lorenzo is just a name I liked and used on gaia. Lorenzo and Daniel are the same person, and I am the same person I was back then. Back then, I would have reacted the same way as I do now, and I would be as loving as I was back then, as caring and considerate, as mature and childish, as faithful, as real, and as sad or as happy.

I have never lied to you and the things I said to you were true.


I'm leaving.