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[insert title here] Chapter 1
A girl stared out the window of her car. She pressed her 11 fingers against the glass as she looked at her new home. Her name? Libbeyponysodaboypopsupercalafragilisticexpialidociouscowchickenandstuff, or Libbey for short. Her old friends called her Katie, though. She was moving to a new town, and thought that everyone would find her wierd because of her name and her extra finger. She had no idea how wrong she was.
The next day, Libbey walked into school, late. A good first impression. She took her seat and looked around the room at her class mates.
The first people she saw were a short, blonde kid and a tall, dark-skinned kid. They were wearing superhero outfits with the emblem Lx2+Jx2 on their chests. Wind blew through their capes and hair. Wierd, seeing as they were inside with the windows closed. Libbey shook it off.
The next person was a proud looking girl who was wearing a black tiara with a ruby encrested in it. She looked mad and was staring at the blackboard. It started to smoke where her eyes shone. The person behind her was staring longingly at her. She also had a dark crown with a black gem on top. She had a black tutu on.
The person she saw next was a guy in only his underwear, which was surprisingly intricate. It seemed to glow with a mysterious power. He had one pink earring.
Before she could look at anyone else, a very hot woman who was bending down to fit into the room walked in. She was probably exactly 9' 9 3/16" tall. "Welcome to Lessgeht High (in) School. I am your math teacher and home room teacher, Ms. Susan. Now, everybody introduce yourselves."
The boys in superhero outfits struck poses and said, "We are the amazing super villain duo, Little Luke and Jumbo Jared!"
Ms. Susan said, "I understand that you two are in boy scouts, volunteer firemen, operation hope assistants, community servers, girl scouts, town cleanup crew, and good deeds anonymous."
"Yeah, that's us! EVIL EVIL EVIL!"
"So, you must be our one of our new students this year, Caroline?" The teacher asked the girl shooting lasers out of her eyes. "PRINCESS Caroline to you, foolish human!" she shouted. "Once my father King Carl conquers this world, the survivors will be turned into our private work slaves, and the others will be incinerated slowly by our hellhounds! Then, we will..."
"THAT'S ENOUGH, CAROLINE!" the teacher yelled. "Hoo! Now then. You must be George, aren't you?" she asked the girl staring at Caroline.
The girl replied in a boy's voice, "King George, if you please."
"Yes, yes, you are a fine young... boy... I guess... Anyway, you are Blake, is that right?"
The boy with in the underwear got up. "That's right."
Ms. Susan stared. "WAHH! Put some clothes on!" she said.
"But I'm advertising the new model--"
"Go get some clothes from the nurse's office!"
The boy left the room looking like this: evil
Ms. Susan shook her head. "Well, moving on... hmm... James?"
A brain in a jar glowed.
Ms. Susan stared and turned to a heavy-set muscular man with sunglasses. "You must be Mikey."
"Yuh-zzzt."
"Oookay. Now, the next two are Beth and Ellian."
Two girls in the corner of the room raised their hands. Finally, Libbey thought. Some normal people.
"Now then," Ms. Susan said, "is Brian- OH MY GOD, BRIAN, YOU'RE ON FIRE!"
Everyone quickly turned and looked at a boy who seemed like his entire body was in flames.
"What," he said, "you don't like fire elementals?! Why are you so racist? You're like Green Day! You know that stage fire they had? Served them right..."
"Someone put him out!" Ms. Susan yelled.
Just then, a girl jumped out of her seat. She got struck by lightning, then she caught fire, then she turned to stone, and finally she summoned a tidal wave and washed everyone away.
While Libbey was half-drowning, she asked Jared, "Who's that?"
"Oh, that's just Erin," he replied. "MAASTERRR OF THE ELEMENTS!"
"Oh."
The drenched class walked back into the soaked classroom and took their seats again, except for Brian, who was nowhere to be found.
"Well, class," Ms. Susan said, drying herself off with a black and white furry towel, "Since we still have some more time, let's just continue." Then the towel started eating her hair.
"Mmm! Delicious!" the towel said. The towel was actually a fat she-panda. "This strange bamboo is absolutley delectable!"
"Excuse me. Would you mind LETTING GO OF MY HAIR?!" Ms. Susan screamed.
"Oh, my! Certainly!" The panda climbed down from her head. "Quite sorry, dear."
"Why is there a panda in our classroom? Why does EVERY SCHOOL YEAR HAVE TO BE WIERD?!"
"Wot? Preposterous! I am not a panda! I am obviously an endangered ska llama!"
The teacher stared. "Please leave. I don't get paid enough for this. Why me. Why..."
The panda promptly jumped out the wall (which had been destroyed in the last incident involving Erin) with a "hmph!"
The teacher sighed and continued. "Well, the next person on our list is... Jon?"
A man in an army uniform whimpered and assumed the fetal position.
The teacher sighed and continued. "Well, the next person on our list is... Kelly?"
Please be a normal person, please be a normal person... Libbey thought.
"Kelly? Kelly, where are you?"
Just then, a female ninja walked in the room and removed a male head from her katana. She sheathed it and sat down. "Here, ma'am!"
Everyone stared.
The teacher sighed and continued. "Why do I keep having the same actions?" She asked the author.
The author replied, "Because you are in my world now. Everything you say, do, and think is helping me. You don't understand." He held up a plastic spoon and bent it. "There is no spoon." Then he flung a piece of food at Ms. Susan. "Haha, loo-sar!"
Ms. Susan wiped the piece of 5-day old porridge off her face while a girl with golden locks dove to catch it in her mouth. "Now then, moving on... is Mar-"
An indian boy with glasses stared at her. She turned to stone. Then he left. She came back.
"Ugh... I hate this story. Even Erin is a master of the elements!"
Luke said, "But, but, how do you know who Erin is?"
"Well, because I asked Ellian, silly!"
"No, that was Libbey."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
Ms. Susan scrolled up a bit.
"Oh, I guess you're right."
Everyone shifted in their seats.
"Oh, right, that whole 'messing with the space-time continuim thing... well, that's everyone. Class dismissed, finally!"
The author agreed. "Yeah, my fingers are tired from typing this much! Chapter 1 is FINALLY OVER!!"
The class cheered, "OVER!"
Some cheerleaders came out and danced to the marching band's music.
"Give me an O!" "O!" "Give me a V!" "V!" "Give me an E!" "E!" "Give me an R!" "R!" "What's that spell?"
~*O*~*V*~*E*~*R*~!*~
© 2006 Luke Schmuke
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