Day 5 of being unemployed: Robert is working on his day off to transplant like 50 plants for a guy... he's been working so hard lately, and I feel bad for quitting when I did and leaving him to have to overwork himself. He wants to prove himself so hard to me that he's capable of taking care of us, but i've already told him he doesn't have to do this... he doesn't have to prove himself. He's the purest human being i've ever spent my time with... he brings so much wholesome love into my life. It hurts me to see him in pain, but at the same time, I know he only hurts because it's been so long since he's used his body like he should. He's got a fire in his eyes that is pushing him forward.. I just don't want it to burn him out.
I've done the front yard and laundry, I cooked and grocery shopped yesterday.... I really got to get back in the swing of handling home life. I worked so many hours as a cook that I kind of forgot how to live my actual life. Maybe this small break is the best for the both of us to find balance again. I'm trying. I want to try and work on my body as well... do some trimming while I indoor bike. I have to find my swing again. My sister is coming over today with the weed wacker, so I can get rid of the evasive plants in my yard... maybe even actually use the garden. I want this year to be the year I start blooming myself. Just in time for the start of spring. ♥
It's been 3 months, 14 days since I had my last cigarette. I can feel my body healing and my senses becoming stronger. I wish I never started. At least I found the courage to quit. I didn't ease off, rather, I quit cold turkey and never went back. I buried myself in my job so that I couldn't get the craving. If Holiday Inn taught me anything, it was some tricks with a knife, and how to keep yourself busy enough where you can't walk out to smoke. I will miss that place and my family away from home. ♥ Best crew.
Conclusion: Here's to a better year and hopefully making myself a better person along the way!! ♥
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