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Meditations and Developments
A collection of thoughts on characters from various roleplays.
Stella: origins
The smell of dust caught in velvet. Dim light streaming in from ornate glass windows. Herbs and pans hanging overhead. Stella remembered these visions with great intensity when she thought about the first time Gavin Acton sat her down on the kitchen counter and entered her mind. Her arms were wrapped tight with bandages, wrapped tight around her tiny body as he began to dig through her memories of school that day, invading her senses to understand the way she thought and felt.

It was fun at first, the way he asked her about her friends and what she had done that day. She would tell him, not with her voice but with her mind, taking him through the story of her life that day. Soon, though, she found trouble. She couldn’t sleep normally, and when he found something he didn’t like, he would use his means to punish her how he saw fit. It didn’t seem bad at the time. It seemed like a soft scolding and promises to never do something again ever. He would explain in time, he said, but only when she was old enough to understand.

Weekends quickly disappeared into a haze. It became a draining process, and one that frayed her edges irreversibly. She found solace in homework after dinner on week nights, and tried to take as long as possible at school. Other days she would sit in the dark so he would have nothing to look at, but even then he dug mercilessly into her memories until she became cold and unmovable. That was when he began to help her recall the worst of her memories. Losing her parents had never been as much of a nightmare as it became when suddenly the memory was weaponized. Uncle Gavin used it as punishment when she began to withdraw into herself. That was what finally made her resist.

After she was enrolled in Hogwarts, but had yet to leave for her first year, Stella found the strength not to struggle, but to go blank. When she felt the pressure of his presence in her mind, she wouldn’t run and hide, she would simply let go of her memories, and of her sense of self, and let him try to dig through a barrier of nothingness with his legilimency. He never relented, but she got better at protecting her mind from him.

It wasn’t until later that she realized that that was what he had wanted all along. By then, it was too late, and she was too cold to ever be warm again.





 
 
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