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What exactly defines the word love?

Our society has driven it in our psyche that on the coming of age we must find a mate and be forever bound to this one mate but as experiences of many people in the world the physical lust overtakes the real pure sense of love drowning it out with it hormone fueled pull.

Many now days that has changed.

I have fallen in love in the eyes of society in the frowned upon way but i do not care,
I am not driven by lust as most others in my spot would be, it is not my nature.

But coming to terms with it and having it out in the open gives me a sense of liberation and yes a sense of entrapment, I thought that when I met my boyfriend that he's the only person who could light me up whenever he came into the room but unconsciously for a while in the beginning someone else did the same.

for years even up till now I would wait or get on the computer and my heart would literally leap for joy on seeing their log in, to some people who read this they may thing " pah some freak online you've got to be kidding" but screw you guys this is my story.

as time progressed every time she was in pain I would curse the distance between us because i could not provide the comfort she needed and on many occasions my fingers just itched on the edge of my keyboard just to let her know my feelings.....but my mind would always turn back to rejection and my budding relationship with my boyfriend.

So i remained quiet, providing the friendly love I could.

jeeze I must be utterly pathetic I know well that my feeling are equally returned but its so damn difficult know that if I choose either path I will be damaging someone I really love and that itself is too painful for me to bear.
in my mind I have a fanciful idea of what could solve this dilemma but sadly I don’t know nor think that would be possible.

But there is one thing for sure I need both of them in my life close to me otherwise what more could I really live for?