Had a therapy session today that felt SOOO good.
I hate to say the cliche but it absolutely felt like I had a breakthrough. I realized that I've been letting other people appraise my worth.
Like when you go to a pawn shop and they appraise some old jewelry. If they don't know what it is, what kind of stone is in the ring for example, they will always under value it. You can accept their assessment, but you won't be getting everything that you can from the exchange.
On the other hand, if you bring that same ring to an expert, someone who knows the rings origin and history, then they will give it a proper assessment. They will tell you the correct value and give you what it's truly worth.
If I am a diamond, something special and rare, then my value is very high. That diamond might be dingy, it might have dirt obscuring the facets and sparkle, but that doesn't change it's value. An appraiser without any experience might not realize the issue and value it lower than they should merely because they don't see what's right in front of them.
I know my value. I know that I am unique and that I have something valuable to share with the world. I am a diamond. I might be buried, I might not have much light shining in my world, but my value is the same. Whether anyone sees that value doesn't change it. Whether or not I get cleaned up so that everyone can see that sparkle, doesn't change the worth. The worth is there because of what's inside, not because of what other's can or can't see. I don't owe them my sparkle.
If I want to sparkle, I am capable of it, I just need to do some work to remove the layers of dirt and grime. Then I can share exactly what I want to share with those around me. Some may still not like what they see. Maybe I'm not the "fashionable cut" of diamond that is popular at the moment. Maybe my setting is too "old fashioned" for some people. Whatever the case, my value remains the same. Diamonds are forever, they're value generally just goes up over time.
This metaphor is so important to me. It wraps ups so many of my insecurities, knowing that worth comes from more than what you do or what you can offer to others. Diamonds are generally thought to be valuable because they are rare and they are durable. I am absolutely one of a kind. Every single human is valuable for this reason because we are all so very unique.
I've struggled for so long to understand what my worth is and where it comes from. This idea of being a diamond helps me to see that so much of my worth is due to my rarity and potential, not how much I give to others or what I do for them. My worth is not about how much money I make or what kind of work I do.
This is an ongoing conversation that I need to have with myself, but I think there is so much beauty to this metaphor.
ShiroOkazaki Community Member 
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