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searching for purpose, choices, daydreaming

i spent almost all of today asleep, and spent my few waking hours making a new outfit on here and wasting ten million dollars on it. i really have been aimless and purposeless and i think pulling this particular card today is what's gonna make me try to be more...purposeful.

i want to be active. i want to translate more. i want to do more with myself that makes it actually feel like i'm Living. playing a ton of video games is fun regardless of if i'm in a rut or not, but it's not...purposeful.

i don't know what i want my purpose to be, which is kind of sad at almost 27 years old when i see all of my friends figuring out what they want to do with themselves, but comparing myself to others is going to do nothing but make things harder on myself. i have my own obstacles. i'll figure things out. it's gonna be fine, one way or another.