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I didn't cry much this time around.
Aren't you proud of me?
(Well, no..is that even a reason to be proud of someone?)
I'm not sure if I realised yet that you left.
Just because I didn't cry it doesn't make it any easierfor me.
No, well...there are some reasons why I think it makes it easier.
And I still want to cry but not because you left.
You'll come back anyway, right?
And everything will probably be the same.
Like it was this time.
Ah, was it the same after all?
Maybe.
Probably.
I do not really know.
This is not the problem though.
I know now, this is not why I'm crying.
Not because you aren't here.
But it's OK.
This is the only choice I have either way!
You aren't reading this, right?
I hope not.
Or maybe I hope you'll read it.
I'm not sure really.
I didn't write it so that YOU will read it.
I wrote it because I wanted to write it.
This is pretty much theexact opposite reason for everything else I'veeverwritten in my journals.
Where you never see anything unless I tell you 'go read it'....
Pretty much.
You see some things.
Knowing my luck you'll end up seeing this.
Um, I dunno.
I think TOO much.
I shouldn't.
But I do.