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sometimes i wish that i was a part of something that the rest of the world wasnt or i knew something phenomenal that could change mankind but only me and a very small and sleceted group of people knew about it. and right now i wish sssoooo badly that that could happen. i wish so badly that its tearing me up but i dont know why i want to know something that the world doesnt know and i dont know why it hurts so bad not to know. i want to know so badly but i cant. i dont know if i really want this to happen or if its something else im feeling thats coming out like this. but whatever it is it hurts. its like a longing of ambition of something that will never go away and that will never happen. when ever i feel this way or think of this i feel like such a kid and so imatrue; like im a kid making stories up and trying to see if i can see a real live dragon or something. why do i feel this way? does anyone else ever feel like this? and how do i stop feeling so bad about it?

~sarah~