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The raging emotions of Opie.
I basically put anything in here that makes me exceptionally angry, sad, frustrated, lost, confused, and occasionally ecstatic. Though when I'm really happy, I usually just bounce around the house with a smile on.
Been in my mind for a while now...
So there's something you should all know about me. I was born with ABS, amniotic bands syndrome. I don't have a left hand. Yeah. I was born without fingers on my left hand. It's not form my parents drinking, it's not form genetics, it's not from a disease. It's from the amniotic sac growing extra lentghs of tissue, and those tissues wrapping around my hand (and feet).

Now, I've never really had problems. Sure, I can't play sports as well as others, but I've never really liked sports. There are some thigns I can't do, but it has never bothered me. Ever. I can type 50 words a minute for Christ's sake. My mom and dad have made it their mission to not protect me form the world, but to expose it to me, and teach me to find my way around obstacles.

Another note, I'm genetically left handed, but am forced to use my right hand. My brain just reprogrammed itself, and I don't even have problems with that.

So I was watching some kid of discovery show, and it was about this little girl, born with almost the exact same thign as me. Except, this was on how her parents, when she was 18 months old, put her through an operation to grow boney extensions somewhat similar to fingers. Basically, they took bones from her toes, and put them at the end of her palm. For a little molre than a year, she wore a device that basically kept her hand as an open wound. It completely enveloped her hand, and pieces of metal attatched to the new bones on the inside of her hand. A few turns of the screws each day would stretch our her bones, and make finger like structures. For the beginning of her life, she couldn't play and learn and grow like a normal child. She was on heavy duty pain medication for more thn a year of her life, the beginning of her life none the less.

Her parents seemed like regular folks. Until they started to talk. They expressed such anguish that when their daughter was born, she did not have "10 little perfect fingers and toes." The first few times they mentioned how she wasn't perfect were okay with me, they're parents, every parent wants their child to be perfect. But they kept mentioning it, and it seemed like the only reason for the surgery. Like they were using the excuses, "We want her to be able to succeed." and, "We want her to have a normal life." Meanwhile, a video of her playing with her brother is in the background. Because of the suirgery, the fingers are very sensitive, and from lack of muscles, tendons, etc, she does not have movement of control over them. However, she's now the closest to "10 little perfect fingers and toes" as she'll ever be, and the parents are satisfied with her. I was... extremely insulted. To say the least.

So, I don't have a normal life? I don't have the same chances as someone with sensitive boney growths? You're saying I need possibly fatal surgery to be something normal and acceptable, to have "10 little perfect fingers and toes"?

I'm fine the way I ******** am. Because her parents weren't satisfied that her daughter didn't look the same way all the other kids did, they decided to torture her in the most important parts of her life, when she's developing and loking for a loving and caring base and family. She will never function the way she would have. Most importantly, she will always have to live wih the thought that her parents didn't accept her the way she was born. They put her through years of surgery, pain killers, open wounds, and mockery from other kids just so she can look more perfect. No, it was never for her to function better. Her parents knew, from the start, what her daughter would suffer through. But they felt that she would not measure up to par, because of the way she was born.

But you know what angers me the most? That they don't consider the morals, the lessons, the strength they could have planted in her. They don't think about how much she could have learned from the world and form herself. They don't understand what she could have changed in society. And the fact that they had to be too ******** selfish so their daughter looks better now.



When I was about 6, my mom told me about a surgery where they split the bottom of the arm into 2 parts, giving you some kind of pincher things. She wondered if I ever wanted to look into something like that. I said no. I said that I didn't want to be in pain, and that I don't want to have to miss out on life for this.

When I was about 9, my dad told me about this surgery with a guy where they put in some plastic finger things in his wrist because he lost his hand in a car accident. He asked me if I ever wanted to ask a docter about something like that. I said no. I don't need something to help me, I don't wabnt to go through surgery and intense pain and medication and possibly post surgery depression, just to adjust to learning something new and difficult. I told him I didn't want a device to help me, I needed to learn it myself.



In short?
Underestimation can be very dangerous.





Opiebreath
Community Member
  • [05/12/07 01:10am]
  • [10/06/06 01:19am]
  • [09/14/06 03:26am]

  • User Comments: [1] [add]
    tuxedopossum
    Community Member
    avatar
    commentCommented on: Sat Jan 24, 2009 @ 11:28pm
    I know I don't really know you, but I just wanted to say that in reading this I found it to be an incredibly powerful piece of writing. I can't truly sympathise, as I was born with 'ten little perfect fingers and toes', but the points you make here are strong ones, and I was moved by your words.

    Thank you.


    User Comments: [1] [add]
     
     
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