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Wow, I'm really getting out of touch with Gaia. Lol.

I should have remembered how fast things change around here. Must get computer at some point so I can catch up on all I've missed.

Ummmm, Not much has really happened lately.
Lara is driving Josh and me nuts. We're getting through it though. I really want our relationship to last after she gets down here but if she's going to be like this all the time in person then I'm not sure how well I will be able to handle it.

To tell you the honest truth... I'm a little at my wits end.
If Josh haddent have been with me last night I dont know what I would have done but it probbly would have resulted into slipping back into old ways.
Something I dont want to do.
I dont want to let some obsessive fangirl of Josh's to ruin my relationship and my friendship with him. <//3

She's a nice girl, She just hates me because apparently I forced Josh into a relationship with me and wont let him go to the person he truely loves or some crap.
I've given up listening to her. Everything she says is some sort of s**t to make me paranoid and make me leave.
And the most pathetic thing is.... It works.

I am so weak that it works.

*sigh*
I'm really not proud of that but at least if I admit it I can maybe change it.

Hale is online. heart
I dont get to see Hale much anymore.
My mum also called the other day.

At work. Embarrassing. XD

I'm going home to see them soon.
Maybe this weekend.
If I dont turn to suicide first.

.......
I think that was meant to be a joke, But it scares me how close to the truth it feels.

)=/

Anyway, Mum rang and we talked.

Yogi is dieing of cancer.
Tracey is dead.

Yay. Happy news.

My aunty is dieing and a woman who I was very close to as I was growing up is dead.
Yay for good news eh?

I might update more if I get online this weekend.
Not sure if I should just give up now.
Give all my items away, Lol.

I'd miss people but it's so much easier just to run away and not have to make it up to people every time I come back.

I like beans.
Mew.
I feel so lost right now. It's an odd feeling. I've never been too honest with my feelings in this journal but I get the feeling I might need to at some point.

I need a weekend away.
I dont want work today.
I am too selfish, I think. Too greedy.

Teehee, The new items are kinda cute.

I might try and come online around Halloween weekend. I hate missing out on Halloween events on Gaia. I dont want to miss any more. ^^;;

That and I need something to force me to change my avvie. I'm too lazy to do it on my own. domokun XD

I just.... I need inspiration. I've always worked off inspiration on Gaia and it's hard when I dont get online much. When I go to my mums house at some point I'll try and see what comes to mind. ^^ <33

The new items are kinda cool. I havent really seen much of them since about Julyish. XDD

Baka Hobo, I know.

But I'm sure I can put some ideas I have into practise. XDD

Anyways. I'm kinda just ranting now. I like beans.

I should stop killing time and repsond to pms now I guess.

Edit: Note to self....

Buy squidy stuff and eyeball stuff already you lazy moose. XD