Lately I’ve wonder what’s going to happen. With life, school, my friends, my relationships I have with people, and stuff like that. I can’t decide what to do after high school, or if I should tell people when I have a crush, or even what to do about the littlest things anymore. As for right now I’m just a seventeen year old kin of Bi chick. Mostly lesbian though. I’m single, and I feel as if I’m alone. I could be standing in the middle of the commons during passing time with tons of people at school, and feel like I was all by my self. I can’t even quit smoking, because I’ll start thinking about it and get nervous. I might just die old and alone, and never knowing what love really could be, with out all the hart aches. I’m starting to feel “numb”, if only I was so lucky. Having to care so much just tares you down. I feel like one of those stones that get hit by water. It could start as a bolder, but one day the water will make it a grain of sand and it won’t matter anymore. Like one grain of sand at the beach. Life seems so lonely. Life just sucks. I still don’t really know my father. I think my mom hates me. I’m in love and she doesn’t even know just how much she means to me. Like if she left or died I don’t think I could ever keep going. I don’t know how I’m going on right now. Life just hurts so much right now. I feel like giving up, but I’m too much of a chicken s**t to do it. I’m so afraid of so much, but when I get up in the morning I try to put on a strong face. Keep going, and do what I have to do. Like when I go to school, so many times I just won’t to brake down and cry, but I can’t. I just have to keep on my everything’s all right face. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore. I don’t know what I’m going to do when I get out of high school. I feel invisible. I’m just painfully invisible.
Tabby_TheOneAndOnly Community Member 
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