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Okay, so this is a ROUGH DRAFT and I don't think it is done yet, but there are some things I really like, particularly Anna Lucia's entrance and exit.....I like that, and I like the beginning with the kids, but there is some stuff in the middle I think I want to change, so please comment if you agree and tell me what you think needs to be different.
EMMA! This is your intro scene, so tell me what you think! Tell me if you like her or if she needs to have a different feel to her!
Okay....... sweatdrop

SCENE 5:
Kids sitting around in chamber.
Lily: I’m starved….Katie, I REALLY want that Peanut Butter and jelly sandwich right now…
Raven: Hell, I would eat a freaking peanut butter and jelly sandwich right now...and we all know how much fun THAT would be…
Kate: Well, when that peanut butter gives you hives all over the place like that time in San Diego, don’t come crying to ME for help.
Raven: Yeah, yeah. I bet they’re planning on starving us to death….
Lily: [panicked] huh?!
Kate: Oh, don’t listen to him, Lily, he’s stupid….he doesn’t know what’s going on any more than the rest of us….
Raven: Or maybe he’s gonna force-feed us chicken feed until we puke, and then they’re gonna roast us….
Lily: [starts breathing quickly] Wha-what?!
Raven: ….and EAT us! Like sausages! We’ll be a buncha human shishkabobs! [grins wickedly]
Lily: Katie! Katie! Is Raven telling the truth? Are we gonna be human shishkabobs? Are we gonna be alien food??!
Kate: No! He’s not telling the truth, Lily, relax…[glares at Raven] He’s just a gosh darned IDIOT is what he is! Raven, stop scaring your little sister!
Raven: [stares] You called me Raven.
Kate: [eyes widen] I- I did not…
Raven: [louder] you did too, you did too! You called me Raven! Ha HA! You called me Raven!
Kate: Oh…shut up! I…didn’t mean it…oh damn it…
Lily: Oh damn it.
Kate: Lily, stop imitating me right this instant!
Lily: Lily, stop imitating me- oh, okay….
Raven: [singing to himself] I finally got through to her, she called me Raven, I’m not Roger, lalala lala la!
Kate: Oh, shut up…
Lily: Oh, shut-
Kate: LILY!
Raven: [paying no attention to them] Well, I dunno about you guys, but I’m feeling considerably happier! The only thing we’ve got to deal with is a picky, uptight, neat freak gay guy. Not exactly menacing, if you ask me.
Kate: Yeah…
Anna Lucia: Oh, I don’t know, his father IS the leader of one of the largest crime organizations in our world, after all….
Raven: [leaps up] Who’s there? Show yourself!
Anna Lucia: [voice coming from an entirely different direction] Charles may LOOK harmless, but his father is quite the businessman…[laughs] to put it gently.
Raven: [spins around to face new direction] HEY! Who are you?
Kate: Raven! Er, Roger! Calm down!
Lily: Katie, I’m scared…[quietly in the background….Kate puts an arm over her]
Anna Lucia: Oh, it’s alright my dear. [shadow appears in the corner, a masked figure in a cloak] It’s only to be expected of a boy of 15, young and fresh with anger, taking his resentment at his parents out on the world….
Raven: [swallows] You- you don’t know what you’re talking about…
Kate: Look, lady…I don’t know who you are, but if you’ve got any guts at all you’ll come out here and face us like a- er, woman.
Anna Lucia: [laughs] If there is one thing I’m not lacking in, it’s guts, Katie. I simply
prefer the shadows. [slant of light crosses her masked face] Hidden intentions…can stay that way.
Lily: [whimpers]
Anna Lucia: [turns face sharply towards Lily] There’s nothing to be afraid of, little Lily. I don’t want to hurt you.
Raven: Then…what DO you want?
Anna Lucia: All in good time, Raven. [slightly evil laugh, soft] All in good time.
Raven: [draws back into corner a little] I’m not scared of you….you could just be some crazy old hag trying to freak us out…
Anna Lucia: Well, if that is the case, than this particular “old hag” has some rather intimidating talents. [laughs softly again, begins to create a small thunderstorm in the center of the room, building in momentum, lighting raining down for a while…stops after a few minutes] Hmm….I hope I haven’t scared you away… [pause as she turns to go] Although it’s not like you’ve anywhere to run. [sweeps out of the room, bookcase passage slamming behind her and blackout]
END OF SCENE 5

Okkies! Please comment! I am always open to suggestions, and I need 'em!