I realize that everything I have is perfect, and that I really do have the best friends possible, and I know that you never know what you have until its gone. Im going to miss my friends alot when I leave, I already miss some of the ones from school who I dont imagine Ill ever see again. (I need to go see Halie soon and ask her about the name of that farming community she thought we should join.) Anyway I know Im having everything handed to me in life right now, but thats not what I want. 17 is a very important developing stage where you become responsible and all that crap, but living here in my middle class home prevents me from doing that, the restrictions of my parents keeps me from maturing, school keeps me from maturing. I need to be able to take care of myself, and I have to take care of my woman. (god damn it I feel sick cuz Im so tired and I need to brush my teeth) then there is my family who I am asked about alot, "dont you care about how your family is going to feel." Not really, their feeling have been false since I was born, thinking that they have to love me for who I am just because Im their son. Love isnt real if its forced, maybe they'll learn that.
Anyway, Im going have have one of the best experiences of my life, and Im going to share it with the most wonderful woman Ive ever met. and just as a note, even if we did break up Id still love her and be fine with staying with her, and she feels the same way about me. If some of my exs were in the same posiontion right now that she is in I care enough about them that Id run away with them too if ari would come with me. wellll Im passing out now.. Ive been awake for wayyy too long.. I think my woman fell asleep with her face in her keyboard, but I home we get to go tent shopping tomorrow, I dont wanna have to pick one out by myself.
View User's Journal
now I really can be whatever I want to be
 |
flakmonkey7
Community Member |
