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umm I dont have time to change all of my journal stuff, I gotta figure out how Im going to spend my day off tomorrow, and Id rather just spend my time ranting about s**t. Ive been doing alot of complaining lately, probably because of work, not just work being stressful, and my boss and coworkers being far more stressful, and the situations that my woman is in, and that whole helpless feeling that keeps comming back to me.. it all goes together and I end up wining about it or getting all frustrated with my girlfriend and being an a** to her and then feeling like s**t and realizing what Im trying to do and not having the patience to figure out how to do it if theres any way to do it at all. and now Im thinking theres probably somone who's thinking that they know how I feel, and thats fine and all, but I havent told you about the only reason that Im actually stressed. My woman is the only thing that I actually care about, I dont give a ******** what happens to me or my family or my friends or the world, I just want my fiance to be safe, and shes not and I cant be with her all the time to make sure that she is and I can fix it, I can only kill so many people, and I cant get her away from here until next fall unless we run away and then if we need help we're ********, and I dont want to think about needing help, I think we can make it, I think I know how to make do. we can, its what we were going to do, its what almost happened, and its what we plan on making happen, running away and being squatters, and thats why we dont want to have a kid yet, our kid. ********. I hadent even thought about it, and that isnt even what I was thinking about. just 2 weeks left, we're doing what we can, Ill work on it tomorrow

******** YOU DOCTOR PHIL.
******** YOU MEDIA.
GET OFF MY ******** BACK WITH YOUR POINTLESS s**t, GET A LIFE, THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO FEED YOUR FAMILY!

GIVE THE KID BACK HER ******** TEDDY BEAR DOCTOR PHIL! IT MAKES HER FEEL SAFE AND YOU DONT KNOW JACK s**t ABOUT WHY SHES NOT SAFE!