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Do you wish to see the Darkness of my Heart?
Sometimes I cant even stand my own journal writings, are you sure you can? Are you really sure? Just checking before you hit that button down there...
Damnit all to hell...
Great...just great...I'm here writhing in pain wishing I would just die so that it would make the pain go away...or at least let me use my arms more than just barely lifting them yet still causing pain to me...

and then my parents go and tell me that I have to do the swim meet tomorrow
"oh and no stress or anything but John and Kevin (my former coaches) will be there and watching you. And you'll be racing CJ (my cousin) so if you lose to him you'll never live it down because he'll be ragging on you the whole ride home."

GODDAMNIT
I'M GOING TO TEAR MY MUSCLES TO PIECES IF I GO AND SWIM THIS MEET AND NOT ONLY THAT BUT I'M GOING TO LOSE AND ADD TIME ONTO MY EVENTS!!!!!!!!!!! WHY CANT ANYONE SEE THAT ITS BETTER IF I SIT THIS ONE OUT?!?!

I'm going to end up lying in bed writhing in pain for a very very long time...
*sigh* no excuses they say...sure...I'm going to kill myself doing this I swear...
I really wish people didnt expect so much out of me...everytime they say "You have to succeed" or "This will determine your future" or something like that...it just makes me want to crawl into a small glass box and just die there even more... stare






User Comments: [1] [add]
mellella
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Sun Jan 14, 2007 @ 07:23pm
aww! im so proud of u counselor!!! heart


User Comments: [1] [add]
 
 
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