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There have been a lot of significant changes in my life lately, and I often find myself hanging in the balance and feeling numb, although not for long. I have apologized to many (particularly you, Jas-even though you're still not welcome to come back to my house.Sorry), grown closer to many, and have ceased my socially, emotionally and physically destructive behavior to push the fear of letting someone into my heart aside to take one step further into true commitment; to see that it is not something to fear or dread but to cherish. I have learned to accept criticism, whether it come sweet or biting, as long there is some constructive light to it. I rediscovered my love for computer technology and found a newer one in the correlated studies of psychology and statistics. Soon I'll transfer from here to a place much further and much colder than from where I am right now; and, more ironically, place me 15-20 minutes or less from the last place I'd ever want to be. But aren't there things in life that none of us want to do, but must, for sake of growth?

I've come a long way from where I was when I left high school and I've grown quite a bit-although in certain aspects I wish I could have done so faster so as to not have learned certain lessons the way I did, particularly regarding my family-obliged to love them though I must.

I feel so at ease with myself; not to say that I haven't been happier, but I am starting to get to know myself as an individual. I am learning techniques to improve certain aspects of my being and tone down or erradicate others. I'm learning to be appropriately selfish, as well as ways of protecting myself against future emotional damage.

What price is appropriately paid to one who rendered such service? What indeed? TYK