FINALLY! I got some sleep now!
it's like... 6:34 in the morning right now though. I had to wake up to get ready for school but now I'm kinda sorta done. kinda sorta meaning... I wanna make some coffee right now and then I'm officially done.
I just ate a cheeseburger hotpocket... man... I don't know why but it taste soooo good, well... considering it's my favorite flavor ^^
um... Yesterday night I was feeling so stressed out and some what drunk because I over dosed on too many anti depressants... plus I was drinking a whole bunch of wine without my mother's consent. hahaha... people are probably reading this right now thinking; "OMG!!! Mari's a drug addict!?"
no... I'm not. That's just what I do when I'm depressed. Well... yesterday had been the first time in so long that I did that.
It's sad how one little pill keeps me happy all day until I sleep it off... and on days forget it, it's horrible.
Anyways... my feelings yesterday were so mixed up because I don't know... I was confused... stressed... truly stressed and confused. My love life is a total wreck. I'm already in love with someone yet I'm falling in love with someone else.
I don't see myself loving more than one person. It's too weird.... because I could never... it'd be like cheating on someone for me. Meaning forgetting one of the other. I don't know who I should choose. One is totally perfect even though he's whiny and annoy whenever I see him (especially at lunch at school) and the other one is charming, sweet, loving, romantic... ahh! so many wonderful things... but yet I told myself time and time again that I shouldn't have a long distance relationship because it would only hurt me...
>.<
I yurn so much just to be with him... yet... we only knew each other for not too long... and i don't know him well enough... it's hard...
I should make my coffee now and talk this through with my shrink on sunday... or maybe just talk to one of my friends today... besides... friends are better shrinks xd
bye bye
love,
~mari
 Mari Lambo · Thu Apr 19, 2007 @ 11:46am · 0 Comments |
