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it seems like ive been thinking about my life at wainwright more and more. i just feel this sadness and i feel like i am going to burst out sobbing but not i single tear comes....its like i miss it so bad that i cant cry. its a feeling beyond crying.its almost been a year since then but the memories are still so fresh and vivid in my mind. i dont know why but its like my heart is still so tender whenever i think about it....i just wish i could go back to that first day in fourth grade and relive it all...the times we had..the memories we shared..i was just looking at all the pictures ive saved on my computer and i came across a pic of the front of the school and i just imagined to faded figures(me and hannah) walking towards the street to fulfill there dutties of crossing guard and its like my mind burst with emotion and memories...i couldnt stop the tears...those of you who read this who are included in my memories know exactly what im talkin about. i remember that time when we were waiting to go on a feild trip and we got about 24 cars to honk at us..and that time we were on the bus and a sears van was stalking us becuase we threw a spitball at it....and then that moment walking through the halls....tears are coming...doar wide open coming closer and closer...graduation music on the intercom....enerything seems like slow motion...you look at mrs.szentesi the tears come.....you look at mrs.pinkney and resist the urge to flip her off.....you spare a glance to the locker that was yourse for so long...you stare after the bathroom that has held so many memories of fights good times and just hangin out....you remember the hundreds of recesses...the door is coming closer you can feel the summer breeze...all the other classes are in the halls smiling and palauding...you wonder what will happen next?...you stare at the back of hannhas head wondering if shes thinking the same thing as you...the tears taste salty and warm....you step into the warm sun and you resist the urge to run to the swings next to the forest and swing as high as you can....the emotion is choking you....youre mind goes numb...you board the bus...the once happy load eric gus rachel and others are silent....you glance at the little church close to the schoola nd wonder if you will ever look at it again...the memories....to many to count...all fly at you...sad music plays through youre head and the tears flow....i wonder if everbody is feeling the same way and then BAM! i realized id been staring at th ecomputer for ten minutes and i lock the emotion and memories back in my heart and face the reality that if i just dwell in the past ill iss the right here and now.i finish this journal entry and walk away....my memories still lingering on the keyboard...