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Im dieing my soul has betrayed me; Turned it's back. My friends what Friends There are'nt any because I here in darkness alone I take out my box cutter I pull up they blade I sit in the corner regretting of how I let you come so close to my heart I thought I actually loved you but I was foolish To belive such things...I screamed Out "You leaved me You Told me You would never leave me" I cry then I said "You left like the others in the past present and future" I brought the blade to my wrist and my concious say dont do it.....I was in so much pain in my heart it was breaking in two no it was truely shattering. When I said I loved you that day I knew I was Over. I soon brought the knife closer and slowly cut through my bare skin I started to see some blood lightly come through then I did it once more on my arm then again and again I soon had more than 500 cuts or probably more my whole arm was bleeding and the sight of my own blood made me feel better as soon as I stood up without any bandages I heard the doorbell ring I opened the door and I see only people in black and someone saying is this the house of oceanblurose i replied yes and soon the speaker comes up to me and says "My love I missed you so" I instantly thought i-it's him the one who I thought was like the others but he's here solid human he was older than I and I didn''t care I knew I loved him i hugged him he saw my arm he pushed my away and said what happened why are you cut I didnt notice I had the box cutter still in my hand and soon I said faintly "You left me You told me you wouldn't you left me in darkness I loved you and yet you're here please tell me this love I call is real because if it not I wont bear nothing I will be a worthless shell..........." I passed out only hearing my name being called over and over only passing into loneliness of my orietented darkness waiting for me........
with the moonlight shining on me I try to reach up and and touch it
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Am I obessed
When you think about Yuna in Final Fantasy X-2 when she searches all over Spira to find Tidus.
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Well why does it seem that way to me was she obessed or was truely in love. *sighs heavely* I have not a clue no more either I'm in love or am I not and I cant stop thinking about it because I'm typing these post. I-I miss him and yet after he hurt me so badly and its been a full year my heart still hasn't healed because it still wounded and soon as they start to mend someone askes me why don't you have a boyfriend and they reopen my wounds. Emotionally I want to start back up....Start back up to cutting myself to give the belief that I am real that I for on am alive and not a flesh and soul less being on this Earth I define that by feeling the pain they at times feels sensual to me but mostly I know I'm alone and for no one to care for me unless I fully recover from those painful yet joyful mememories so that I can have a chance at love once again but since I'm not able to that I guess I only have the choice to live here in the darkness........And Envy those who found love or someone to be with while I stand there alone and act happy so they won't suspect how depressed I really am...............................
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