It's funny how the only crap I ever have to say is sad or suicidal. Funny how I'm not allowed to feel anything else. Funny how I've had to feel that way since I was born. Funny how every good moment is irreplaceable yet I can never remember even if it's a day later. Funny how I manage to lose everything that matters to me most. Funny how as I'm typing this I end up crying making it so I can't breathe. Can't wait till it's funny when I die though.

I've said before death is the only and ultimate freedom and for someone like me the only way to reach it. And finally avoid feeling like *crap* for ever.