What does it mean? When I fall apart infront of my family and they dont even care. When I'm left vulnerable for all to see and yet my bleeding heart is cut and stabbed and further hurt. What does it mean? When my loved one is millions of miles away. When the only time I feel close to him is staring off into the oblivion of the north east. Whether it be raining or hailing out, I stand there staring, wondering, when will he be home? What does it mean? When I can't even be comforted by friends anymore. When my body is breaking down and showing signs of eroding. What does it mean? When I look beautiful but no one is there to see, and those who are do not care? What does it mean? When I know I'm inevitably breaking apart, falling to pieces. Like a puzzle torn apart by different people and thrown to the floor. I can not put myself back together for I am inatimate, and even if I werent the pain is so great that I dont even bother. What does it mean? When I refuse to listen to god and what he is telling me, and I spend more time thinking about him...than ever before. What does it mean? When I'm ripped away from the one thing that makes me feel alive again. What does it mean? When I'm told to forget and they know I can't. I'm denied access to the life saving water that is love. What does it mean? When everyone I know is in denial about what I'm feeling. They say I'm a child but I'm not. I know I'm not. They don't understand. What does it mean? When I doubt my own sanity. Hearing things in the dark, faking his voice to give me comfort when I cry. Running out scenerio's in my head of how I can just be with him, my drug, for only a few more seconds of the day. What does it mean? When I fantisize about him all the time. My mind always locked and focused on him, I can never pry it away. What does it mean? When I cry at songs about the death of a solider. When I break down in tears because a song forces me back to the thought of him, just when I've stopped his thought from coursing through my veins and causing me pain from our forced seperation. What does it mean? When instead of him getting in trouble, I would take any punishment. When I am upset with our own judicial system for their stupid laws they have come up with. And why is it, that even though everyone tells me its not true...the only answer I can find to all of these questions...Is that I love him?
Im_Your_Angel_Of_Death Community Member 
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