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Tome of madness
A collection of thoughts of a madman
An Alcoholic's Guide to Not Overdoing it.
An Alcoholic's Guide to Not Overdoing it.
OR
How to Drink Responsibly!


Drinking can be fun. Many adults over the age of 21 enjoy a pleasant drink with that nice warm sensation of being inebriated. Chances are though that you also are somewhat familiar with the feeling of going way beyond your limits and later making out with the porcelain. Luckily to most people this only happens once and that's it, others seem to have no idea why this keeps happening, sometimes you're ok and others you feel like you're going to die and you don't remember what you did differently. Well in my own journeys of over doing it, I have realized a few things that definitely help to prevent that inevitable downward spiral into.... eh.. the gutter I guess.

Phase 1: the Pregame

Before we start drinking here are some things to keep in mind. Whether or not you go to a bar to drink can make a different since bars are generally more costly. It's easy to overdo it at home with friends because you already paid for the booze and they come in nice big full bottles. Either way here are some things to consider before you go

-Know Your Limits
Sounds simple enough but most of us only figure out our upper limit after throwing up before going to bed and then waking up, throwing up a bit more and spending a day in a bed... possibly a hospital bed. If you're familiar with the sensation of motion sickness you shouldn't strive to reach that point, but if you do that is your body telling you not to have another drink of booze. If you do feel like your on a boat in a hurricane then sit down, stop drinking, if you still have a drink or just ordered a drink toss it or cancel your order. give it to your friend whatever.

-Go with One person who will remain sober if going out.
This includes designated drivers, but even if no one is driving, if you do end up overdoing it it might be a good idea to have someone with you who can tell the cab driver where your address is or help you get home. Also they're a good person to tell you if you should cut back on a drink. Bartenders are also a good judge of this and in some cases will help in the same way a sober friend would, but rule of thumb is that unless you know the bartender bring a friend. This may be very difficult to obtain and may not be 100% necessary if you're going to a bar that's walking distance from where you live but at the very least it's never a good idea to go alone to a place you haven't been before. at least be with someone you know isn't going to be as shitfaced as you.... or at least don't get shitfaced.

-Eat Food Drink Water
Yah we all know this is a good idea sure but it's easy to forget. If we dont't have money and we want a drink we may forgo the food but a good rule of thumb is if you have to choose, get dinner. Water, Gatorade, fruit juice are all good to have as well. it will help you stay hydrated during the night.

-Plan before hand what your limit is going to be
if you're going to a bar have a set amount you want to spend on booze. This also means being aware of how expensive your drinks are when you have a tab. Nothing like closing your tab and you realize you just drank 80$. If you're mixing drinks at home measure your alcohol by the ounce. once you realize exactly how much of what kind of alcohol will make you sick you can figure out when to cut yourself off.

-Educate Yoself
Finally gain some knowledge about what you're drinking. Some alcohol's have higher proof, some affect you faster, some have filler that can make a hangover happen really easily. It's things like this that give tequila a bad reputation as something that is guaranteed to make you sick in the morning when it's the fact that you're drinking shitty tequila that they cut with vodka to make it cheaper for you. Or why jager has this strange reputation of being a high octane liquor even though it's only 70 proof. Also why you can 4-5 cosmos and feel fine but 2 zombies and you can't pronounce the word zombie to order the 2nd one. all of these things will aid you on your quest to being able to drink without fear, and many alcohols have a long and interesting history in politics and foreign policy. why not take a look.


Phase 2: Treading water

Now you're at the bar, you're full and hydrated, you got your booze buddy you got what you're spending in cash, you left the keys with the designated driver or the bartender, and you are a walking encyclopedia on booze. when you get a few drinks in you all preparation can easily be forgotten and thrown out the window if you're not careful so here are some things to keep in mind when you're at the bar.

-sip, don't gulp
Yah shots are fun but the faster you drink the harder it is for your body to catch up. Either way you're defeating the purpose of enjoying a fine beverage. flex some of your newfound knowledge of fine spirits and actually think about the drink you're drinking... you know.. like a pretentious a*****e.

-Conversate with people
One of the fun parts of drinking socially is engaging in hazy conversations about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. This goes hand in hand with the "don't drink so damn fast" rule since having a conversation makes it harder to drink your drink all at once.

-Keep what you're putting in you in mind
If you're making your own drinks this is easy. Just make sure you always measure your shots or measure every ingredient you put in your drink. Not only does this make it easier to keep track of how much you're drinking but you also get the added bonus of enjoying a cocktail the way it was intended to be drunk. At the bar just know what's in your drink and how much. A well made drink usually doesn't have more than an oz to an oz and a half of each kind of hard liquor. Some drinks this may be a difficult task. Exotic drinks for example can have up to 4 oz's of different kinds of booze each with a different proof. For this reason it's a good idea to get well acquainted with what your favorite watering hole serves.

-Be sane with your mixers
Fruit juices, syrups, soft drinks and liquors all make for fine drinks and obviously the fact that they dilute your drink helps but red bull.... redbull is not a good idea on it's own. adding alcohol doesn't make it better.

-Stick to one or two kinds of liquor
Yes we all heard the old wives tale of mixing your alcohols=bad hangovers. There does seem to be some truth to it but obviously many mixed drinks take some liberties with this. But if you get one bottle of something for your own enjoyment this is easy. a bar can be a bit more difficult unless the bar specilized in a specific kind of liquor. If you go to a bar that has over a hundred kinds of tequila, try their tequila drinks, they probably do those best.

-order some water and food
Or keep some handy. Foods will absorbe toxins and water will keep you from getting dehydrated.


Phase 3: The Morning After

So it's the next morning, you tried to follow all the things I gave to you and you still feel like someone is drilling into your head. Well if this is the case then you're probably looking for some hangover cures. Here are some things to help you recover quickly.

-Hair of the dog
Yes those early risers. Not always the best thing but can often beat those hangovers. A bloody Mary or a Mimosa are generally the favorite, but an oz of liquor in a tall glass of juice can help. you only need one though so don't go binge drinking. The Nordic Snapper is another good riff on the bloody Mary. Also the painkiller is a wonderful drink. If I can I sometimes make myself a suffering b*****d. always get's me feeling better.

-Non Alcoholic Fluids
If you still have plenty of those fluids you used for mixing they can also be helpful for hydrating you the morning after. Water, Gatorade, juices, sprite all good staples. My favorite is a good ol ginger beer. Usually non-alcoholic and the ginger can help quell those stomach demons that are trying to escape.

-A Hearty Breakfast
Yes a good big breakfast of eggs, bacon, hash browns and all that good stuff to mop up the formaldehyde that you pickled yourself with. Lots of Proteins and fatty acids. If your vegetarian.... eh... honestly I'm not sure, you would know better than I. Leftovers are always a good source of this too.

-Coffee
Maybe not the best for you but as long as you're staying away from the gurana you should be ok. it may not make the pain go away but it will help you be ready for work.


DO NOT GO TO PAINKILLERS
may sound like a good idea but it's the last thing your liver needs. If you have to choose between a headache and liver damage I'd choose the headache.


I hope this provides some help for you. Remember to drink responsibly



Valtiel the Watcher
Community Member
Valtiel the Watcher
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