• Not So Honest Abe's Gallery
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  • Artist Info: <br />
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    He is the life of parties he has never attended<br />
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    If he were to punch you in the face, youd have to fight off the urge to thank him.<br />
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    Sharks Have a week dedicated to him.<br />
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    - Police often question him, just because they find him interesting.<br />
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    - His beard alone has experienced more than a lesser mans body.<br />
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    - His blood smells like cologne.<br />
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    - He has amassed an amazingly large DVD collection, and has never once alphabetised it.<br />
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    - If he were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there.<br />
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    - The pheromones he secretes effect people miles away… in a slight, but measurable way.<br />
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    - He once punched a magician. That’s right, you heard me.<br />
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    - His hands feel like rich, brown swede.<br />
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    - He lived in the hills of the Serengeti for a summer after being gifted a wife by a local tribes men.<br />
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    - He owns 4 sports cars, and rents 5.<br />
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    - He taught a horse to read his email for him.<br />
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    - He almost broke the land speed record in 1977, popular opinion among his team was that is beard caused to much wind resistance. He would have shaved it… No, no he wouldn’t have.<br />
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    - He was the featured man at a bachelorette auction he brought in over 13 million euro, under the table.<br />
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    - His personality is so magnetic, he is unable to carry credit cards.<br />
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    - Even his enemy’s list him as there emergency contact.<br />
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    - He never say’s anything taste like chicken… Not even chicken.<br />
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    - He speeks fluent French, in Russian.<br />
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    - His charm is so contagious, vaccines we’re created for it.<br />
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    - Years ago, he created a city out of blocks. Today over 600,000 people live and work there.<br />
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    - He is the only person to ever ace a Rorschach Test.<br />
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    - Every time he goes for a swim. Dolphins appear.<br />
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    - Alien abductors have asked him, to probe them.<br />
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    - If he we’re to give you directions… You would never get lost. And you’d arive at least 5 minutes early.<br />
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    - His legend precedes him, the way lightning precedes thunder.<br />
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    He was asked to be a judge at the Miss Universe pageant and he won the pageant.<br />
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    before his visit, it was just called that wall in china<br />
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    When he is invited to a wedding…He kisses the bride<br />
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    his photographic memory is in HD<br />
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    "He once made Chuck Norris cry."<br />
    "He wrote the law of gravity and knows how to break it."<br />
    "He can make sweet tea unsweet."<br />
    "He can use both sides of his brain at the same time."<br />
    "He has always had HD Tv."<br />
    "He climbs Mt. Everest once a month.<br />
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    He knows where all of those missing socks go, but isn't saying….. <br />
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    Even Mimes can't stop talking about him. <br />
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    Prostitutes pay him...<br />
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    He never wakes up on the wrong side of the bed. He wakes up in the middle…..of two women<br />
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    He once proved three customers wrong … all in one day<br />
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    Windows 7 Was His Idea 10 Years Ago <br />
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    Oh, he’ll do the moonwalk, but only on the moon.<br />
    No man is an island. But if he were, he’ be Maui.<br />
    As the tsunami approached Phuket, that’s what he said, and went surfing anyway<br />
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    He once got pulled over for speeding. The cop ended up with the ticket.<br />
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