• sweet_matt12's Gallery
  • View Profile
  • Send Private Message
  • Artist Info: Sup. My name is Matt. I'm 16. I live in Schenectady, New York. I have 2 dogs and 1 cat.<br />
    <br />
    100 reasons why you might be a redneck<br />
    <br />
    1. You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.<br />
    <br />
    2. You ever cut your grass and found a car.<br />
    <br />
    3. You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.<br />
    <br />
    4. You think the stock market has a fence around it.<br />
    <br />
    5. Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Drive-in Theater.<br />
    <br />
    6. Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.<br />
    <br />
    7. You own a homemade fur coat.<br />
    <br />
    8. Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.<br />
    <br />
    9. You burn your yard rather than mow it.<br />
    <br />
    10. Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath"<br />
    <br />
    11. You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.<br />
    <br />
    12. The Salvation Army declines your mattress.<br />
    <br />
    13. You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.<br />
    <br />
    14. Birds are attracted to your beard.<br />
    <br />
    15. Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.<br />
    <br />
    16. You were shooting pool when any of your kids were born.<br />
    <br />
    17. You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.<br />
    <br />
    18. You've ever hit a deer with your car...deliberately.<br />
    <br />
    19. Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos"<br />
    <br />
    20. You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.<br />
    <br />
    21. You've ever given rat traps as gifts.<br />
    <br />
    22. You clean your fingernails with a stick.<br />
    <br />
    23. Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.<br />
    <br />
    24. You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table.<br />
    <br />
    25. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.<br />
    <br />
    26. Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.<br />
    <br />
    27. Every socket in your house breaks a fire code.<br />
    <br />
    28. You've totaled every car you've ever owned.<br />
    <br />
    29. There are more than five McDonald's bags in your car.<br />
    <br />
    30. The Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.<br />
    <br />
    31. There has ever been crime-scene tape on your bathroom door.<br />
    <br />
    32. You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.<br />
    <br />
    33. The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.<br />
    <br />
    34. You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.<br />
    <br />
    35. You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap.<br />
    <br />
    36. You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.<br />
    <br />
    37. You have every episode of Hee-Haw on tape.<br />
    <br />
    38. You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.<br />
    <br />
    39. You’re considered an expert on worm beds.<br />
    <br />
    40. Your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell"<br />
    <br />
    41. The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when visiting your house.<br />
    <br />
    42. You've ever bought a used cap.<br />
    <br />
    43. Your CB antenna is a danger to low-flying planes.<br />
    <br />
    44. You pick your teeth….. from a catalog.<br />
    <br />
    45. You've ever financed a tattoo.<br />
    <br />
    46. You've ever stolen toilet paper.<br />
    <br />
    47. You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.<br />
    <br />
    48. People hear your car a long time before they see it.<br />
    <br />
    49. The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.<br />
    <br />
    50. You prefer car keys to Q-tips.<br />
    <br />
    51. You take a fishing pole into Sea World.<br />
    <br />
    52. You think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup.<br />
    <br />
    53. You've ever stood in line to have your picture taken with a freak of nature.<br />
    <br />
    54. You think the French Riviera is foreign car.<br />
    <br />
    55. You go to a stock car race and don't need a program.<br />
    <br />
    56. You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.<br />
    <br />
    57. You have ever used lard in bed.<br />
    <br />
    58. You own more than 3 shirts with cut off sleeves.<br />
    <br />
    59. You have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass.<br />
    <br />
    60. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.<br />
    <br />
    61. Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.<br />
    <br />
    62. The primary color of your car is Bondo.<br />
    <br />
    63. Directions to your house include "Turn off the paved road" <br />
    <br />
    64. Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.<br />
    <br />
    65. You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.<br />
    <br />
    66. You ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.<br />
    <br />
    67. Jack Daniels makes you list of most admired people.<br />
    <br />
    68. Your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.<br />
    <br />
    69. You see no need to stop at a rest stop 'cause you have an empty milk jug.<br />
    <br />
    70. You consider the fifth grade your senior year.<br />
    <br />
    71. You have a rag for a gas cap (on a car that doesn’t run).<br />
    <br />
    72. The dog can't watch you eat without gagging.<br />
    <br />
    73. You have a hefty bag where the window of your car should be.<br />
    <br />
    74. You have ever bar-b-qued Spam on the grill.<br />
    <br />
    75. Your brother-in-law is also your uncle.<br />
    <br />
    76. Redman Chewing Tobacco sends you a Christmas card.<br />
    <br />
    77. You bought a VCR because wrestling comes on while you're at work.<br />
    <br />
    78. Your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade.<br />
    <br />
    79. You view the next family reunion as a chance to meet girls.<br />
    <br />
    80. Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.<br />
    <br />
    81. Your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs.<br />
    <br />
    82. The main course at potluck dinners is road kill.<br />
    <br />
    83. Your other truck is made by John Deere.<br />
    <br />
    84. You think suspenders are a type of shirt.<br />
    <br />
    85. Going to the bathroom at night involves shoes and a flashlight.<br />
    <br />
    86. You keep a spit cup on the ironing board.<br />
    <br />
    87. You ever got too drunk to fish.<br />
    <br />
    88. More than one living relative is named after a civil war general.<br />
    <br />
    89. Your home has more miles on it than your car.<br />
    <br />
    90. You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouerve.<br />
    <br />
    91. There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.<br />
    <br />
    92. You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.<br />
    <br />
    93. Fewer than half of your cars run.<br />
    <br />
    94. Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her a**.<br />
    <br />
    95. You honestly think that women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.<br />
    <br />
    96. You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Bobby-Sue to walk by.<br />
    <br />
    97. Your family tree doesn't have any branches.<br />
    <br />
    98. Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a high school sports event.<br />
    <br />
    99. The best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.<br />
    <br />
    100. The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights
  • Avg. rating: