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  • Artist Info: My name is Namine. I am 14. I like drawing and playing with Sora's memories.<br />
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    50 Things to Do in a Mall<br />
    1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the reflecting pond.<br />
    2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big. <br />
    3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack. <br />
    4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents. <br />
    5. At the bottom of an escalator, scream 'MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!' <br />
    6. Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD prices are in pesos or rubles.<br />
    7. Teach pet store parrots new vocabulary that makes them unsalable. <br />
    8. Stomp on ketchup packets at Burger King..<br />
    9. ..but save a few to slurp on as snacks. Tell people that they're 'astronaut food'. <br />
    10. Follow patrons of B. Dalton's around while reading aloud from 'Dianetics.' <br />
    11. Ask mall cops for stories of World War I. <br />
    12. Ask a salesman why a particular TV is labeled black and white and insist that it's a color set. When he disagrees, give him a strange look and say, 'You mean you really can't see it?' <br />
    13. Construct a new porch deck in the tool department of Sears. <br />
    14. Wear pancake makeup and new clothes and pose as a fashion dummy in clothes departments, occasionally screaming without warning. <br />
    15. Test mattresses in your pajamas. <br />
    16. Ask the tobaccanist if his hovercraft is full of eels. <br />
    17. If you're patient, stare intently into a surveillance camera for an hour while rocking from side to side. <br />
    18. Sprint up the down escalator. <br />
    19. Stare at static on a display TV and challenge other shoppers whether they, too, can see the 'hidden picture'.<br />
    20. Ask appliance personnel if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish. <br />
    21. Make unusual requests at the Piercing Pagoda. <br />
    22. Ask a salesperson in the hardware department how well a particular saw cuts through bone. <br />
    23. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them. <br />
    24. Hula dance by the demonstration air conditioner.<br />
    25. Ask for red-tinted lenses at the optometrist. <br />
    26. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray *them* with your own bottle of Eau de Swane. <br />
    27. Rummage through the jelly bean bin at the candy store, insisting that you lost a contact lens. <br />
    28. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard. <br />
    29. In the changing rooms, announce in a singsong voice, 'I see London, I see France..' <br />
    30. Leave on the plastic string connecting a new pair of shoes, and wander around the mall taking two-inch steps. <br />
    31. Play the tuba for change.<br />
    32. Ask the Hammond organ dealer if he can play 'Jesus Built My Hotrod'. <br />
    33. Record belches on electronic sampling keyboards, and perform gastric versions of Jingle Bells for admiring onlookers. <br />
    34. Ask the pharmacist at the drugstore which leading cold remedy will 'give you a really wicked buzz'. <br />
    35. Ask the personnel at Pier 1 Imports whether they have 'any giant crap made out of straw'. <br />
    36. 'Toast' plastic gag hot dogs in front of the fake fireplace display. <br />
    37. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts. <br />
    38. Ask the information desk for a stroller, and someone to push you around in it. <br />
    39. Change every TV in the electronics department to a station showing 'Saved by the Bell'. Chant the dialogue in a robotic voice, and scream if anyone tries to switch channels on one of the sets. <br />
    40. Hang out in the waterbed section of the furniture department wearing a Navy uniform. Occasionally run around in circles yelling 'scratch one flattop!' <br />
    41. Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are 'leakproof'. <br />
    42. 'Play' the demo modes of video games at the arcade. Make lots of explosion noises. <br />
    43. Stand transfixed in front of a mirror bobbing your head up and down. <br />
    44. Pay for all your purchases with two-dollar bills to provoke arguments over whether they're real. <br />
    45. If it's Christmas, ask the mall Santa to sit on *your* lap. <br />
    46. Answer any unattended service phones that ring in department stores and say 'Domino's.' <br />
    47. Try on flea collars at the pet store while occasionally pausing to scratch yourself. <br />
    48. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back permed. <br />
    49. Show people your driver's license and demand to know 'whether they've seen this man.<br />
    50. Buy a jawbreaker from the candy store. Return fifteen minutes later, fish it out of your mouth, and demand to know why it hasn't turned blue yet.
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