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  • Artist Info: HI, I love world play.<br />
    <br />
    Read this aloud: <br />
    <br />
    Dearest creature in creation,<br />
    Study English pronunciation.<br />
    I will teach you in my verse<br />
    Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.<br />
    I will keep you, Suzy, busy,<br />
    Make your head with heat grow dizzy.<br />
    Tear in eye, your dress will tear.<br />
    So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.<br />
    <br />
    Just compare heart, beard, and heard,<br />
    Dies and diet, lord and word,<br />
    Sword and sward, retain and Britain.<br />
    (Mind the latter, how it's written.)<br />
    Now I surely will not plague you<br />
    With such words as plaque and ague.<br />
    But be careful how you speak:<br />
    Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;<br />
    Cloven, oven, how and low,<br />
    Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.<br />
    <br />
    Hear me say, devoid of trickery,<br />
    Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,<br />
    Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,<br />
    Exiles, similes, and reviles;<br />
    Scholar, vicar, and cigar,<br />
    Solar, mica, war and far;<br />
    One, anemone, Balmoral,<br />
    Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;<br />
    Gertrude, German, wind and mind,<br />
    Scene, Melpomene, mankind.<br />
    <br />
    Billet does not rhyme with ballet,<br />
    Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.<br />
    Blood and flood are not like food,<br />
    Nor is mould like should and would.<br />
    Viscous, viscount, load and broad,<br />
    Toward, to forward, to reward.<br />
    And your pronunciation's OK<br />
    When you correctly say croquet,<br />
    Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,<br />
    Friend and fiend, alive and live.<br />
    <br />
    Ivy, privy, famous; clamour<br />
    And enamour rhyme with hammer.<br />
    River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,<br />
    Doll and roll and some and home.<br />
    Stranger does not rhyme with anger,<br />
    Neither does devour with clangour.<br />
    Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,<br />
    Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,<br />
    Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,<br />
    And then singer, ginger, linger,<br />
    Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,<br />
    Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.<br />
    <br />
    Query does not rhyme with very,<br />
    Nor does fury sound like bury.<br />
    Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.<br />
    Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.<br />
    Though the differences seem little,<br />
    We say actual but victual.<br />
    Refer does not rhyme with deafer.<br />
    Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.<br />
    Mint, pint, senate and sedate;<br />
    Dull, bull, and George ate late.<br />
    Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,<br />
    Science, conscience, scientific.<br />
    <br />
    Liberty, library, heave and heaven,<br />
    Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.<br />
    We say hallowed, but allowed,<br />
    People, leopard, towed, but vowed.<br />
    Mark the differences, moreover,<br />
    Between mover, cover, clover;<br />
    Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,<br />
    Chalice, but police and lice;<br />
    Camel, constable, unstable,<br />
    Principle, disciple, label.<br />
    <br />
    Petal, panel, and canal,<br />
    Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.<br />
    Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,<br />
    Senator, spectator, mayor.<br />
    Tour, but our and succour, four.<br />
    Gas, alas, and Arkansas.<br />
    Sea, idea, Korea, area,<br />
    Psalm, Maria, but malaria.<br />
    Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.<br />
    Doctrine, turpentine, marine.<br />
    <br />
    Compare alien with Italian,<br />
    Dandelion and battalion.<br />
    Sally with ally, yea, ye,<br />
    Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.<br />
    Say aver, but ever, fever,<br />
    Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.<br />
    Heron, granary, canary.<br />
    Crevice and device and aerie.<br />
    <br />
    Face, but preface, not efface.<br />
    Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.<br />
    Large, but target, gin, give, verging,<br />
    Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.<br />
    Ear, but earn and wear and tear<br />
    Do not rhyme with here but ere.<br />
    Seven is right, but so is even,<br />
    Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,<br />
    Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,<br />
    Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.<br />
    <br />
    Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!<br />
    Is a paling stout and spikey?<br />
    Won't it make you lose your wits,<br />
    Writing groats and saying grits?<br />
    It's a dark abyss or tunnel:<br />
    Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,<br />
    Islington and Isle of Wight,<br />
    Housewife, verdict and indict.<br />
    <br />
    Finally, which rhymes with enough --<br />
    Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?<br />
    Hiccough has the sound of cup.<br />
    My advice is to give up!!!<br />
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