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HI, I love world play.<br />
<br />
Read this aloud: <br />
<br />
Dearest creature in creation,<br />
Study English pronunciation.<br />
I will teach you in my verse<br />
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.<br />
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,<br />
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.<br />
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.<br />
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.<br />
<br />
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,<br />
Dies and diet, lord and word,<br />
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.<br />
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)<br />
Now I surely will not plague you<br />
With such words as plaque and ague.<br />
But be careful how you speak:<br />
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;<br />
Cloven, oven, how and low,<br />
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.<br />
<br />
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,<br />
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,<br />
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,<br />
Exiles, similes, and reviles;<br />
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,<br />
Solar, mica, war and far;<br />
One, anemone, Balmoral,<br />
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;<br />
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,<br />
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.<br />
<br />
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,<br />
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.<br />
Blood and flood are not like food,<br />
Nor is mould like should and would.<br />
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,<br />
Toward, to forward, to reward.<br />
And your pronunciation's OK<br />
When you correctly say croquet,<br />
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,<br />
Friend and fiend, alive and live.<br />
<br />
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour<br />
And enamour rhyme with hammer.<br />
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,<br />
Doll and roll and some and home.<br />
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,<br />
Neither does devour with clangour.<br />
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,<br />
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,<br />
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,<br />
And then singer, ginger, linger,<br />
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,<br />
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.<br />
<br />
Query does not rhyme with very,<br />
Nor does fury sound like bury.<br />
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.<br />
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.<br />
Though the differences seem little,<br />
We say actual but victual.<br />
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.<br />
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.<br />
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;<br />
Dull, bull, and George ate late.<br />
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,<br />
Science, conscience, scientific.<br />
<br />
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,<br />
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.<br />
We say hallowed, but allowed,<br />
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.<br />
Mark the differences, moreover,<br />
Between mover, cover, clover;<br />
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,<br />
Chalice, but police and lice;<br />
Camel, constable, unstable,<br />
Principle, disciple, label.<br />
<br />
Petal, panel, and canal,<br />
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.<br />
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,<br />
Senator, spectator, mayor.<br />
Tour, but our and succour, four.<br />
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.<br />
Sea, idea, Korea, area,<br />
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.<br />
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.<br />
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.<br />
<br />
Compare alien with Italian,<br />
Dandelion and battalion.<br />
Sally with ally, yea, ye,<br />
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.<br />
Say aver, but ever, fever,<br />
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.<br />
Heron, granary, canary.<br />
Crevice and device and aerie.<br />
<br />
Face, but preface, not efface.<br />
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.<br />
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,<br />
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.<br />
Ear, but earn and wear and tear<br />
Do not rhyme with here but ere.<br />
Seven is right, but so is even,<br />
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,<br />
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,<br />
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.<br />
<br />
Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!<br />
Is a paling stout and spikey?<br />
Won't it make you lose your wits,<br />
Writing groats and saying grits?<br />
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:<br />
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,<br />
Islington and Isle of Wight,<br />
Housewife, verdict and indict.<br />
<br />
Finally, which rhymes with enough --<br />
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?<br />
Hiccough has the sound of cup.<br />
My advice is to give up!!!<br />
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