• Lying on the Gravel in Her School Dress


    She rested her head on the gravel of the road, dully aware of the crowd gathering around her. The gravel was turning red with blood, and her name was called from a distance. She wanted to move, to turn her head towards the familiar voice, but she couldn’t. She wanted to desperately jump up off the gravel and scream “I’m fine! No need to worry about me!” She wanted to, but she couldn’t. Even she knew that she wasn’t okay. She knew she might not live for much longer. She knew what happened.

    She had felt the impact of the car, she had felt the bone crunching pain as it split her insides in two, and she had felt her head hit the side of the road. It all happened in slow motion. The driver colliding with her, the pain, and then the crunch of gravel as the car sped off again. It felt like a lifetime until people noticed she was there.

    As she reminisced, gloved fingers touched her neck, feeling for a pulse. It was there, she knew it. She had to keep on living, if only for a little while. She remembered the people she was going to miss, and also couldn’t help but to think what awaited her after her heart had made its last beat. Would it be eternal sleep with no dreams, or would she live another life?

    She felt herself being loaded onto the ambulance that had arrived at the scene only minutes before. Her head thumped and her whole body screamed in pain, but she didn’t make a sound. She couldn’t. She wanted to tell the paramedics that there was no use, the damage had been done and that they should have left her lying on the gravel in her school dress. She couldn’t do that either. She desperately wanted to.

    Everything sounded so distant to her, the sirens, the passing traffic and the groans and screeches from the road work machinery. She wanted to turn to the girl that was sitting next to her near lifeless body. She wanted to hold her hand and wipe the tears from her cheek. She wanted to tell her not to cry, she wanted to tell her that it will all be better soon. Much better.

    She felt the ambulance come to a halt at its destination. She had felt their hurried feet as they rushed to save her life. She knew better than anyone that you can’t save everyone.

    She heard the beeping and hissing of the machines that breathed for her, that lived for her. She wanted to tell them that their efforts were useless, that they were hopeless. Doctors came and doctors went. The only one who stayed was the girl from the ambulance, the girl from the road. She sat in the stiff hospital chair in the curtained off cubicle of the hospital, biting her nails. She wanted to hug her, to slap her fingers away from her mouth. Although she knew her fate, she wanted her to tell her that she was okay. That she would live.

    She died that night.

    Only one person cried for her.

    - Lucy