-
Mystic
Part 1, The Awakening
By Jonathan Gibson
One day, Traharain(Trah-Ha-rain) was waiting in study hall staring at the clock, waiting for the period to end. It was the last day of school and he was waiting to get home. Suddenly, his friend Lailya(Lay-e-l-uh) started talking to him
Lailya: Hey Rain.
Traharain: Ya Lai(lay)?
Lailya: There's gonna be a meteor show tonight, wanna come over to my house?
Traharain: SURE!
Mr. Harrin(har-in: Traharain quiet down now or I'll give you a detention
Traharain: Sorry Mr. H
Lailya: Nice one Rain
Traharain: shut up.....
Lailya: Don't tell me to shut up
Traharain: Whatever
Lailya: Any whey Jack is coming too
Traharain: cool
The bell rings and everyone goes running out to the buses and cars to get back home to start their summer vacations. Traharain and Lailya meet up with Jack and walk to Lailya's house
Jack: You know what I've always wondered?
Lailya: why you always go to summer school?
Jack: shut up......
Lailya: Don't tell me to shut up
Traharain: whoa deja vu
Jack: what?
Traharain: Nothing
Lailya: Any whey what is it you always wondered
Jack: Why you and Traha have weird names
Traharain and Lailya at the same time: SHUT UP ABOUT IT!!!
Traharain: heh heh.....
Lailya: Awkward.
Jack to Traharain: I know you like here just ask her out already
Traharain to Jack: shut up about it already, I'm waiting for the right time
Jack: Whatever
Lailya: What??
Jack and Traharain(in a quick tone): Nothing
Lailya: whatever
The three friends get to Lailya's house and wait around snacking and playing games, Jack gets a new high score on pinball and Traharain Plays Halo 3 with Lailya. After a few hours they eat dinner and a few hours later the meteor show starts.
Lailya: cmon it started, lets get up to the roof.
Jack and Traharain: ok
(they go to the roof of Lailya's house)
Traharain: When did you set it all up?
Lailya and Jack: while you were sleeping
Traharain:...... sorry
Lailya: It's ok I don't mind
(Jack gives Traharain a this-is-you-big-chance-look)
Traharain: Heh heh......
Jack: Are we just gonna stand here all night or are we going to watch some rocks fall?
Traharain: I hope nobody thinks we're nerds cause of this
Jack: Dude after what you did to that kid at school last week-Lailya interjects: and the day before that- nobody's gonna think your a nerd
Traharain: and you fail a lot and have a screw you attitude so your safe
Jack: Ah, touche
Lailya: And I'm safe because-
Jack: Your hot
(Lailya hits Jack): Shut up
(Jack rubbing his cheek): So it's bad to be hot?
Lailya: When you say it
Traharain: Whatever lets just sit down already...
(They sit down with Traharain in the middle)
Jack to Traharain: Dude this is your chance ask her out now
Traharain to Jack: Alright I'll do it..
Jack: Finally
Lailya: Huh?
Jack: Nuthin its just that the falling rocks are falling more
Traharain: Lailya?
Lailya: Ya?
Traharain: will you-
Lailya: HOLY CRAP THAT ONE'S HUGE
(A meteorite falls towards Lailya's house)
Jack: IT'S COMING RIGHT FOR US
(Traharain feels a weird sensation)
Traharain: well.... so much for that idea...
(the meteorite lands in Lailya's backyard and they all rush down to check it out, Traharain just climbs down)
Lailya: What was it you were about to ask me Rain?
Traharain: I'll tell ya later, lets check out that rock
Lailya to herself: ...Maby I should ask him.....
Traharain: walks up to the rock and see's that it cracked and see's something glint inside of it
Jack: This is definitely a first for me..
Lailya: I think it's a first for all of us.....
(Traharain opens up the rock and picks up a pendant)
Lailya: What is that thing?
Jack: some kinda necklace
Traharain: Its got an engraving on it, looks like it says Mystic, its really weird though.
Lailya: It looks really weird too.
Traharain: Here Lailya you have it
Lailya: Awwww thanks Rain
(Lailya reaches for the pendant but jerks her hand away)
Lailya: How can you hold that thing?? I just put my hand near it and it feels really hot
(Jack does the same thing but touches it)
Jack: OUCH that think freakin burned me
Traharain: Weird.. It's not hot to me
(Traharain puts it on) I guess I'll keep it then.......
Lailya: What if it cools down?
Traharain: If it cools down you can have it Lailya
Lailya: Yay!
Traharain: Heh heh.....
Jack: Either way Let's get back up to the roof
The three friends make their way back up to the roof, but little did they know that one of them just started on a journey that would last all summer long.
- Title: Mystic
- Artist: Raiynen
- Description: this isn't the full story(well full part), I'm not done with it yet but this isn't all i have. I just figured that would be a good breaking point. If it gets good reviews then I'll post the whole part if i finish it(about 20% done with it i think, what i put was only about 20% of what i have made )
- Date: 08/09/2008
- Tags: mystic pendant fantasy
- Report Post
Comments (5 Comments)
- glitz and prada - xox - 04/06/2009
- i actually think you did pretty well.
- Report As Spam
- TerraHilde - 01/21/2009
- What did you get the inspiration for those names from? Alphabet soup? and the dialouge could have been better. Maybe a little less running together-ish. Or something. spelling could use a little work, plot is funny and OK.
- Report As Spam
- Julia Dream - 12/16/2008
- Those names are absolutely ridiculous. It's like you threw Scrabble tiles at the wall and just named them whatever the tiles formed. Also, your dialogue is a little weird and stilted, and you need to work on punctuation and spelling, but I guess the plot is okay, if a bit overdone.
- Report As Spam
- Master Jayke - 08/09/2008
-
*ahem* "Any whey" is "Anyway." Just had to get that out of my system. ^__^()
But yeah... it sounds like it could be an interesting plot. But if you do decided to write the rest, more discrioption would be nice; I know it's script format, but it IS do able. Also... their names. XD Why so odd? It's not nessisairly a bad thing, just wondering why they have names like that. - Report As Spam
- Raiynen - 08/09/2008
- .....
- Report As Spam