The treasure cave

• Artist: luigig619
• Description: This is an essay which I got 8/10 in my english test. So,hope you like it. This story is made by luigig619 (me)
• Date: 08/15/2008
• Tags: treasure cave money police adventure

pirate The Treasure Cave pirate

One day my friend and I decided to go exploring in a place called Karamja.
First we decided to meet back home at about 9:30AM. We prepared a bag filled with adventure stuff, such as a torch,rope,some lunch and water.It took us at about 1 hour and 15 minutes to arrive there.When we arrive we noticed that this place had no people in it. There were no trees,no houses, no nothing. After exploring for about 15 minutes we saw a cave and we decided to go and check it out. Inside the cave it was dark so I lit up the torch and went it. After about 1 minute of walking we noticed that there was a brick wall. It looked pretty weird. Than I noticed that the bricks where loose. As soon as we removed all of the bricks we saw a very weird thing I've ever seen. Behind these bricks there was a lot of gold coins, crowns and jewellery. After seeing this we took some pictures on our cell phone to show it to the police when we return back home. After finsihing taking pictures we staring walking to get out of the cave. We were really excited to find ancient treasure. When we returned home it was at about 4:10PM and we were realy tired,so we went to sleep for about 30 minutes. After that we decided to go to the Police depertment to show them the pictures. For the treasure they offered us a reward of $750. Since we found it together we decided to share the money,so than that left us with $375 each.
Thos was the best day of my life.

The End

Comments

[fruit4you]

It is kind of dull. After the first sentence I didn't want to continue. Your sentences are too short and choppy and have little variety of diction. The idea is cool, but you can def. improve.

[Malik Blishtar]

um, this is not an essay, this is either a recount or a story.also, it was kinda boring and too short. i reckon if u made it longer and more descriptive it would be pretty cool.

[SweetSunshineGoddess]

Hahahaha I was about to say, this is DEFINITELY Runescape, but Inu Saito unhacked has already established this fact. Nice try though?

[Pasty DeVrays]

Unless this event ACTUALLY happened, it's not non-fiction.

[InuSaito unhacked]

What an odd tail. The beginning is RuneScape and the end is reality.
Anyway it's well written. Good job.