Special forces Part I RD

• Artist: Zero Inferno X
• Description: I AM NOT AIMING FOR PUNUCTIONS RIGHT NOW!!!! so dont count against that all im aiming for is to see what people think of the story idea and to see if anyone has any ideas so shut it about my compusation and just judge it by the idea for now
  If you want to no what is being judged fully and not
  anything that IS NOT will have RD for rough draft
  Anything that is final will have FC for Final Copy and will go through to my story
  
  
  
• Date: 10/01/2008
• Tags: special forces part

scream !!READ THE BELOW STUFF BEFORE THIS PLEASE!! scream

Somewhere on a planet of an unkown galaxy and scout bike zooms over a desert planet. As the bike zooms across the desert and on it is a male solider rides it. He wears black tinted goggles and a black leather uniform. as dust flys the male stops the bike and pulls out a viewfinder and looks a full 360 degrees around him. "Justin here Patrol point Y23-X75-Z23 all clear returning to centeral command to restock and refuel"the solider said over a transmitter radio. "Roger that we will perpare fuel and supplies for you" a voice said over the transmitter radio. Justin reved the bike and whiped it around a 180 and headed back to centeral command. As he rode back dust kicked up and something caught his eye. Justin stopped and pulled out the view finder and saw a dog like being "Alien hound hmmmm its one i dont think i should worry about it." he took off again heading for Centeral Command.

Comments

[Mr Creepy Stalker]

That'll be a great idea, i'll try to think of some names that might be cool, let me add you as a friend so we can keep in touch

[Zero Inferno X]

well i would make more but i need some more charater names
and such so im thinking of stuff like that right now if you got any nice names (names that are very common will not work think of something nice dont be lazy and use bob or joe or anything like that)

and im trying to deiced whether to do double person story (tell story of two differnt people in one book) pre chapter and then as my story progresses their desitinys will intertwine

[Zero Inferno X]

well this is only a rough draft and just starting story idea and just wanted opion so i wasnt aiming for punucations or that stuff it was just to get opion on what people thought of the starting story

[Mr Creepy Stalker]

i just remembered, i would love to read the rest of your story, PM me please and we can talk about that and maybe i can help you with something for i've been writing stories for a long time now.

[Mr Creepy Stalker]

wow, i really like the basis of the story, you just need to make little adjustments like on the second sentence: "As the bike zooms..." it really doesnt make sense... Another thing, try to use punctuation signs when you write, it really makes the story easier to read and understand.