• Why Nights?
    Once upon a time, there was a girl. She was just an ordinary girl, who led an ordinary life, and wasn’t really all that special. But she never contracted a disease; which was due to her having the rarest blood type of all, blood type “V”. Blood type “V” was never recorded as a blood type, for so few of families had it. This is the story, of one of them.
    Ria was walking to school one day, and noticed a boy looking at her. What a cute boy! She thought. The boy looked very puzzled, as if she was the strangest thing that he had ever seen all his life. “Figures. I’m soooo ugly that the only reason boys look at me is to revel in the knowledge that they would never have to date me”. But unbeknownst to her, she was actually the prettiest girl at her school; and boys did want to date her. What a mess. You, the reader, could probably go on from here thinking that this was a love story about several complicated love…polygons. However, remember the boy? And the blood type “V” I mentioned earlier? Well, this is a spoof of a love story, so it’s supposed to be funny. DEAL WITH IT.
    Anyways, Ria noticed the boy she saw earlier walking towards her. “He probably wants to laugh at my ugly face”. She slumped her head down and walked faster. She would have made it to the front doors of the school, had the boy not stepped in front of her. “See me at lunch. 1:00 in the school parking lot.” Confused, Ria looked at the strange boy as he walked off into the dark alley. “Is it just me, or was he really pale? And what’s up with those teeth? He looks like a vampire”. Ria chuckled and reassured herself that vampires didn’t exist; and even if they did, what would they have wanted with her? Oh Ria. How little she knows.
    It was 1:00. Ria hastily rushed out of the cafeteria and to the parking lot. There was the boy. As he said he would be.
    “What do you want?” Ria asked.
    “I want….to drink your blood.”He replied, licking his lips.
    “Uhh…what would happen if I let you?” Mused Ria
    “You die” The vampire replied bluntly.
    “Oh.”
    “Yeah.”
    “Wait, I thought that if I was bitten, I turn into a vampire too?” Ria questioned.
    “What are you talking about? This isn’t Twilight By Stephanie Myers!”
    “I liked that book.” Ria digressed from the topic.
    “I hated it. Eduard had no realism.” The vampire said.
    “Okay, I’ll make you a deal,” Ria blurted. “If you pretend to be my boyfriend for a week-“
    “Weeknights.” The Vampire cut in.
    “-Fine, weeknights: then I will let you drink my blood.”
    “Sure.” The vampire smirked,
    “What’s your name?” Ria asked,
    “Freduard” Freduard murmured under his breath.
    “Pffftt…” Ria chuckled. “Is Freduard supposed to be related to-“
    “Say ‘Eduard’ and I will drink your blood right now.”
    Ria clamped her mouth shut.
    And from then on, the two were considered a couple, and for 7 nights, Ria was on cloud nine. Then, Monday came.
    “Okay, I’ve kept my part of the deal, now you keep yours.” Freduard grumbled
    “Fine.” Ria said, and she held out her neck for Freduard to suck. Freduard was about to clamp his mouth on her thin slender neck, when she asked,
    “Wait, why do you want to drink MY blood? I mean, aren’t there plenty of other girls out there?”Freduard sighed. He started to explain, but then he stuttered.
    “Why do I want to drink your blood?” Freduard asked himself. After a moment of deliberation, Freduard snapped his fingers, “Ah ha! I got it! I want to drink your blood because you’re the only one I know with blood type ‘V’”.
    “What does the letter of my blood type have to do with anything? Is it because ‘Vampire’ starts with ‘V’ and I have blood type ‘V’?” Ria demanded. “That is the lamest excuse for a story plot that I have ever heard!”
    And Ria went on and on about how lame this story was, and that Freduard was a disgrace to the Vampire race, blah, blah, blah. To put it quite frankly, she literally nagged Fred to death. If those of those of you didn’t know that vampires couldn’t go on for long without drinking blood…let’s just say our friend Ria never gave poor Fred a chance….

    The End