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Whispers, Chapter One: Everything's Lost
The ticking of the clock and the memories of all the horrible things of what's happened in this past month, alone, keep my eyes open as I stare into the darkness of my room. I wonder how all the calamity started, then remember, teenage suicide. My brother, William, depressions the most powerful that I can think of, took his own life only a month ago today. He took Mother and Father's death extremely dreadfully, slowly it ate away at him until he was nothing more than a hollow shell of sadness, an now, I am alone, sleep, is all I need to get these worries off of me.
Hours later, my eyes open to the streams of sunlight glistening through my window shades. The time, 8:17A.M., the worries still bother, but suicide could not be the answer, no, not for me. All I can do is hope for a good day to keep my mind off everything. I dress in a black tuxedo, for the wake is today. The keys to my Altima are on the table. I grab them and rush out the door at 9:45A.M.
The drive is quiet, my girlfriend abandoning me after 3 years of dating, right when I was about to propose. The radio played softly, the classic rock station I like. There is a slight drizzle and the roads are dotted with small puddles in the pot holes. When I arrive to the funeral home, people are lined up and talking, all looking so morbid in the dark clothes, the setting doesn't help either.
"Leornard, you made it." A somewhat comfortng voice says.
"Hello Gram." It was my grandmother.
"I understand how close you two were, I'm sorry for your loss."
"I wasn't there to stop him... I could've if Stephanie didn't-...."
"Don't blame yourself, he did it of his own accord. Even if you were there he wouldn't have let you stop him."
"At least I could've tried!" A tear stream down my eye, as much as I try to fight it, there's just too much.
"Well, I'll just bring you to the front of the line, to say your last good-bye's." She says. I sigh and follow as she weaves her way through the imense crowd of people.
There he is. he looks peaceful and at ease. How I remember him from before all this. It's saddening. They did a good job of covering up the scar on his neck too...
"Good-bye brother." I place a locket which mother wanted him to have, yet I never had the chance to give, to his chest. I walk away, for I can't bare the thought of all the people staring, and I get back into my car. The rain has picked up.
I speed away, down a few back roads to get my mind off things and release some anger. But, as I take a turn, going at least 76mph, I swerve and crash. The car flips and the next thing I can remember is a bright white light.
A man emerges in a shadowed form out of the light, am I dreaming?
"Leo! You're finally here!"
"What? William!?"
"Yeah bro it's me." Relief or fear, I can't tell the emotion.
"W-What is this? Where am I?"
"Dead." My stomach drops.
"Dead? No I'm alive. You're the dead one! How am I seeing you!?"
His happy expression fades. "Dead, both of us."
"No, prove to me I am dead."
We both get beamed to a car wreck. An ambulance is pulling a stretcher with a body under a white sheet. Impossible...
"Do you have the proof you need now Leo?"
"I can't believe this, spirits aren't real, YOU'RE dead, yet talking to me. My mind must be going through some sort of psychosis or something."
Just then I feel a tingling in my body. It's suddenly dark, and I feel claustrophobic. "What's on my toe?" My hand twitches. I try to move but I'm enclosed in a small box-type thing. "WHERE THE HELL ARE MY CLOTHES!?"
"What was that?" I hear a voice say.
"Hey help me out of here!"
I hear loads of bustling around and a really loud woman's scream then a door slam. A few moments later it sounds like somebody is opening containers around me, then mine opens.
- by just_an_elf |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 12/19/2008 |
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- Title: Whispers
- Artist: just_an_elf
- Description: Confusing, Interesting near the end. Sad at beginning. Comment and Vote tell me if it's any good for a 13-year-old writer. Also check out my Nightfall series (they're a tad-lot better)
- Date: 12/19/2008
- Tags: whispers
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Comments (3 Comments)
- cookiemonster171 - 05/12/2009
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i dont get the ending
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- The Size of Your Fist - 12/26/2008
- interesting story, but the transitioning needs some work. the whole thing feels rushed, like you were trying to write the story as quickly as possible, could use some more detail.
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- Kystinzz - 12/19/2008
- its good i liked it even though itz kinda sad
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